School

We started school last week.  Things are going well so far.  I am very excited that all of my girls have been able to complete the review work at the beginning of the math book.  I was very happy because other than life skills, we didn't do any math this summer. 

The boys have done well.  They have two classes that haven't started yet.  They will begin next week.  (They are group classes.)

Morgan is going to stay at my parent's house for a week.  We are going to their lake house this weekend and she is going to stay until the next weekend.  My mother had surgery on her hand and is off work for a few weeks so she is thrilled to have her.  They are having a garage sale the second weekend and Morgan can't wait to help.  She has wanted to participate in a garage sale for years.
I will send her school work with her and the answer keys for my parents.  I will miss her, but on the other hand, I am excited for her. 

I believe it will be a good thing for everyone.  The other girls struggle at first without Morgan around, but then they start doing better.  They are lost at first.  Actually, Haylee does pretty well.  Hannah struggles. 

Also, this was our excitement today.  Tucker killed a timber rattler in my front yard.  Luckily a friend drove by and saw it and stopped to let us know.  He went in some brush by a tree.  We sprinkled gasoline on the brush.  Very quickly, he stuck his head out and Tucker blew it up!!  He actually blew up his head and injured part of his body. 

Understanding

It has been rough around here the last few weeks.  Everything is going better this week. 

Hannah has had a difficult time lately which unfortunately affects the entire family.  We don't do certain activities because it will put her in situations that she will be tempted to make poor choices again.  I have really been struggling with people referring to me as, "the mean Mom."  I know I shouldn't worry about these things, but I do.  This time it was from two little girls that are supposedly friends with my girls.  They were saying this because Haylee and Hannah were invited to a birthday party last week.  Hannah wasn't allowed to go because of some things that had happened in the last few weeks.  I guess because my kids have consequences for their actions, I am labeled as mean.  I have no doubt that they have probably heard their parents talking, but I could be wrong. 

Anyway, once again please pray for Morgan.  She is really having a hard time right now.  We went to a town an hour away to buy a new refrigerator.  Yes, mine died.  She is the only child that wanted to go.  God knew she needed time with me to talk.  She struggles with the fact that her friends all feel sorry for Haylee and Hannah and think they are so cute.  She feels that her friends ignore her when they are around.  Part of this is probably just girl stuff and puberty, but some is due to her struggles with our adoption. 

She has been unfairly accused quite a few times this summer for her actions by others defending Hannah and being ugly to Morgan.  I explained to these people that Hannah does have hurts from her past and I can't imagine being placed in a strangers home at age 8 and them being my new mom and dad.  However, they forget that Morgan is also hurting deeply on the inside.  She has gone from being the baby and the only girl to being on of three and the oldest of the girls.  She has had to share just about everything.  I am sure that gets very old.  Having her own room has helped.  The older children causing grief always gave her their attention before the girls came.  Now she is the bad guy.  We explained to them that you can't consider Hannah's feelings without considering Morgan's.  She is acting out of her hurts.  Yes, they may be affected by ll year old hormones, but she is having real struggles. 

Morgan and I talked in the car as she softly cried.  It broke my heart.  At times, she couldn't even catch her breath.  She expressed a need to talk to someone who understands that they act one way in public and one way at home. I reassured her of so many things during our conversation.  She feels abandoned by so many people since the girls became her sister.  She mentioned that the girls require so much more attention that she often feels left out.  I told her that I understand her feelings because I have struggled with some of the same issues.  It has been hard.  We are judged so wrongly by outsiders.  I can't imagine her struggles because I am an adult struggling, so it must be much harder for an eleven year old. 

Anyway, she has an appointment with the counselor we met with prior to the adoption next week.  She is one person she stated that she could talk with that understands.  I am going to have her meet with her for awhile to help us through this season.  The counselor is not planning to meet with all of the girls, just Morgan.  When I called the counselor she listened to me also, which helped me as well. 

I feel bad sometimes thinking this way because so many families that have adopted have such bigger issues than we have.  I don't blog as much because I often feel guilty for the way I feel. 

God is in control.  He has planned this path for my family.  His mercies are new every morning.  He gives me what I need each day.  Thank goodness.  I can't imagine walking this path without God.


. 

Enough

Lying.
Disobedience.
Drama.
Manipulation.
Anger.

I have had enough of this in the last two days for awhile. 

I am not sure what the trigger has been.  The only thing I can come up with is that after I was out of town with Morgan for five days, I came back with a determination to try to attach more with Hannah.  I was trying to make things better between us in every way possible. Things have been really good until a few days ago.  I believe it started in little ways Monday.  I wonder if she got scared because she was feeling the attachment.  She even came up to me and asked for a hug.  That is very unusual. 

We will get through this phase...we always do.

By the way, Haylee is doing great.  Morgan is having a harder time because of issues with Hannah.

Pray

Please pray for our family.  We are having some issues and we are praying about how to resolve them. 

I told our Adoption Support Group leader last night that adoption is one of the hardest things I have done in my life.  Another adoptive mom was sitting there and totally agreed.

Adoption can mess up prior friendships for us as well as our children.  They are "pitting" one child in our family against the other.  I will defend both children.  I love them dearly.  Neither child is perfect and I have never claimed they are. We evaluate each situation as it arises. 

Please pray for clarity. 

District Swim Meet

All five kids competed in our District Swim meet this weekend.  I am very proud of each one of them. Tucker, Alex and Morgan qualified to swim at state in all three of their events.  Haylee qualified in two out of three of her events.  Haylee and Hannah qualified to swim on the relay team which will swim two events. 

Update

I haven't posted in a long time because we have been so busy.  We finished school, went to the beach, went to a meeting in Atlanta and went to the Aquarium.  My husband and I flew to Oregon for business.  The boys went to Boy Scout Camp.  We have been to the lake.  The girls stayed with my parents and had a great time.  Hannah tested them big time.  I was small things that will frustrate any adult.  Tucker is working on his Eagle Scout project.  I am so excited and proud of him.  Tucker is a lifeguard at the pool this summer.  He rides his bike to and from sometimes.  He is a great kid.  I am very proud of him. 

Haylee and Hannah have been over to play at a few friends houses and done very well.  In fact, later, one mom told me that I was the strictest and meanest mom she knew of all of her friends.  She said this after telling me that they were the sweetest, very polite, and most compassionate girls she knew.  I was shocked.  Thank goodness it started raining and we all scattered.  Sometime I want to ask her, "Do you think they came from DHR this way?"  My structure has benefited them a great deal.  Yes, at times I may be too strict.  At times, I could extend more grace.  Hey, I am not the perfect parent and have never claimed to be.  (Sorry about the tangent.)

I have lots of pictures to share with you if I would ever get them off of my camera. 

To be totally honest, I haven't posted because I just don't know what to say.  Haylee is doing really well.  I believe she has a healthy attachment to me and our family.  I am just not sure about Hannah.  It is going to take her longer, I believe.

She is testing the boundaries lately.  What do you do for a child that lies because they didn't do the whole thing, put just part of something.  Like if something is messed up on the swing set.  She may have taken it apart and not left if like it was found by someone else.  She insisted she didn't do it when the other children saw her.  After working with her for awhile, she didn't do all of it so she said she didn't do it.  The swing wasn't the issue.  Not telling the truth was the issue.  Sometimes she says, "She thought that was what we meant."  We have told her to ask if she doesn't understand what we are asking.  It is better to ask than not be honest. 

We love her dearly.  She wants her way so bad, she will do whatever to get it without thinking about the consequences.  She told Morgan that she can't wait to go find her BP's when she is 18.  Haylee said she didn't want to go and Hannah could go without her. This isn't new information to me, but I do wonder why the discussion came up among the girls.

Morgan and I are leaving for Orlando tomorrow morning.  We will be gone until next Wednesday.  She is attending a dance convention for three days and the we will go to Magic Kingdom for one day.  She is excited and having a hard time going to sleep.  She is growing up so much.  Hannah wants so bad to be maturing like Morgan.  Bless her heart, she can't make her body start changing. 
I am excited that we are going to be by ourselves.  Well, sort of, I will have two other girls in our room.  I am taking three others in my car tomorrow.  I am sure we will have a wonderful time. 

Life in Pictures

We have been really busy, so I haven't blogged much.  Below are some pictures of some events that have happened in the last month or so in our lives.

My family and two others hosted a Low Country Boil.  We had about 75 people in attendance and had a wonderful time of food and fellowship.

Haylee is the one hanging upside down in the picture.  She is so funny!

Tucker, my oldest, and a friend of his are hanging upside down in this one

 from the top of the swingset!

This is a crazy
picture of all three families that hosted the event.

Tucker, my oldest.  I rarely can catch him for a good picture.  I like this one,

so I thought I would share.

Our local community college hosts a festival for all fourth graders about the water cycle every year.

Haylee and Hannah attended this year with our other 4th grade homeschoolers.

We have three sets of twins in the fourth grade.  Isn't that crazy??

Haylee learning about how much of the earth is covered in water by playing a game.

Hannah singing the "Water Cycle Boogie"

Tucker was inducted into the Homeschool National Honor Society this year.  I am very proud of him and his accomplishment.  He has been inducted the first year he was eligible.

Morgan's room is almost finished.  I will post pictures soon!  It looks great and it was the right decision to move her out of the room with the other girls.  Now the two of them are fighting more.  I guess I removed Morgan from the middle and they continued to argue.  Morgan has really enjoyed being able to get away from them.  It drives Hannah nuts.  She doesn't like it when she doesn't know everything Morgan is doing.  More to come...