Movie

Last night we let the girls watch Oct*ober Ba*by.  We weren't sure if and when we would.  It just felt right last night.  I have felt like Hannah has been distant the last few days. 

Well, I watched the movie with them.  After it was over Hannah crawled up in my lap and cried.  My husband wasn't in the room.  She usually goes to him, not me.  She could relate to the movie so much.  The girl, Hannah, in the movie has so many of the same characteristics as my daughter, Hannah.  To name a few: name, MRI, EEG, Preemie, wants to find her parents, birthday in October and on and on. Hannah realized most of these.

She started asking about her birth parents again.  She said she wants to find them.  She wants to tell them about Jesus.  She asked why she can't go now. I told her it isn't safe or she would be with them now. She asked if I would help her later.  I told her when it was time, I would help her.  (I hope that was the right thing to say.)  I wonder sometimes if she saw them now, would it give her some closure?

While Hannah and I were talking, Haylee was sitting on the couch next to me.  I was able to see how each of them cope with their past.  Hannah was very emotional and the feelings were deep.  Haylee got silly and would say silly off the wall things to not think about what Hannah was talking about. 

Later, when I was tucking the girls in for the night, Hannah told me that she didn't think I loved her, but after watching the movie, she knows that I do.

I was bothered by her statement.  I was beating myself up about being a bad mom to her if she doesn't think I love her.  I was pondering this when it occurred to me that she doesn't understand what love is or means.  When she came she loved every single thing and person.  She has learned a great deal, but still doesn't get it.  I think her definition is probably someone that gives her what she wants when she wants it.  That sounds harsh, but that is how she thinks.  We are definitely not that kind of parents.  We have boundaries and they don't move.   She thinks everything should be equal no matter what.

This morning I gave her an example of how I showed my love for her today.  Yesterday, she asked for cinnamon rolls.  We usually eat those one morning each weekend.  Well, we didn't have any.  Last night I went to return some movies and also purchased some cinnamon rolls for breakfast.  I asked her what we were eating for breakfast.  She told me.  I asked what she wanted for breakfast yesterday.  She told me.  I asked her why we didn't eat them yesterday.  She told me.  I told her that I went and bought some so they could have them this morning.  I did this because I love them and know they look forward to eating them.  I explained to her that this is one simple way to show love for another person.  Doing simple things just because you love them and expecting nothing in return. 

I feel like that was a huge step between the two of us last night.  Hopefully this will break down some of the walls that has been built between us. 

Age

It is so hard to remember the girls aren't eleven in maturity.  Sometimes they are no more mature or developed than a five or six year old.  This is such a difficult situation when they want to do preteen things but they aren't ready to be a preteen.  They think they are so grown up and then make choices and follow directions as a young child. 

I pray very often that God will help me discern which age they are each and everyday.  It is definitely a moving target.

Speak Life!

This is a great song shared on a blog I follow.  Enjoy!

Growth

The girls had doctor appointments today. 

Haylee has grown almost three inches and gained eight pounds in one year. She is wearing a size 7/8 pants and a medium shirt.

Hannah has grown a little over one inch and gained 3 pounds in one year. She was on the lower end of okay last year.  She has now fallen below the acceptable line by quite a bit.  Hannah wears a small shirt and size 6/7 pants.

They just turned eleven a few weeks ago.

Hannah will have growth hormone testing in early January.

Hannah may have to be given growth hormones.

I always knew this could be a possibility.  I was praying that we wouldn't have to endure this process. 

The doctor said it is hard to get insurance companies to approve the therapy.  She said if they aren't producing the correct amount of hormones and are not on the growth chart they will usually approve the treatment.  I hope it will be approved, if needed.

Haylee is finally on the growth chart at 3%.

Hannah is not on the growth chart at all.

Please pray...

A friend of mine is in need of prayer for healing.  She is in the process of adopting from Russia.  She has made two trips already.  They returned from their most recent trip last week.  During this trip they had their court hearing and are officially the parents of their little boy.  They are set to return in November to bring him home.  However, during the night Monday she became very ill.  She is in ICU.  Last I heard, they weren't sure if she had a stroke or an aneurysm.  She needs a miracle in her body to be able to return to get her son.  Yesterday she was alert and talking.

My heart is very heavy for her.  Please pray for her. 

Art

Haylee took her first art lesson today.  She went for two hours and did very well.  The teacher said she sat very still and paid attention very well.  I could hardly speak when I went to pick her up and saw the painting because I was so pleased with her work.  Haylee has always loved any type of art and is very excited to have the opportunity to take watercolor classes.

I am so proud of her and love seeing how proud she is of her work.

He did it!!

I am proud to say my son is an Eagle Scout!!

 

Tucker passed the Eagle Board of Review tonight and is now an Eagle Scout!!

 

We had a great time tonight driving the hour to the meeting and the hour home.  He is such a fine young adult.

 

I am so blessed to have him as my son!