Encouragement while in the trench

I have really been fighting discouragement this past week. It has not been a very good week. I feel like I have been in a trench, with little hope of getting out. I have been tired and frustrated.

I am tired of feeling like the wicked witch all of the time. It seems like I am always correcting someone or asking someone to do something or stop doing something, etc. I am struggling to balance all of the hats I wear in my life. I don't know which one to take off and discard.

Our pastor asked anyone that is discouraged about anything to come down for prayer. I knew I needed too and did. The sweet friends that prayed for me reminded me of a few things.

One lady reminded me that I like to be in control of everything. She reminded me that as I have said many times, I can't live my life right now without going to God first. He can handle these things. Nothing surprises Him. I have to turn it over to Him each and every day. I have always been able to handle things on my own. Not anymore, I need Him more than ever. I know that, but is was refreshing to have this sweet lady share that with me again.

She also said that we aren't to worry about tomorrow, only focus on today. Lately, I have spent way too much energy worrying about the future of our family and the girls most of all. I worry about all three girls and I shouldn't. I need to turn it over to the Lord more than ever.

Another lady reminded me that the girls are "fearfully and wonderfully made". He knows everything about them, past, present, and future. God gave me this scripture for our adoption prior to the placement. He knew they would be in our family. He has their future in His hands. It was refreshing to be reminded of this again.

Another friend reminded me that I have faith to walk this walk with God. He called us to adoption and these girls and He will not leave us or forsake us.

A friend also reminded me that only God can help me love these girls as I love my other three children. Don't miss understand me, I love Haylee and Hannah, but it is different. I am very protective of them as I am with my other children. I didn't realize how much I was struggling with this issue until she starting praying for God to help me love them completely. I know I will probably recieve negative comments because I have said this, but I realized today, it is true. I believe I have been holding guilt inside about this issue. God can enable me to love them just as they are my birth children, but only He can do this.

I am very thankful these ladies obeyed and prayed for me today!!

Our message was about hope. We know that suffering produces perseverance, which leads to character, and character, hope.

Our pastor read in Romans 5:

1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

None of what I heard today was new too me. However, when I am stuck in the trench or the "spin cycle" as I sometimes call it, I needed it to be spoken to me from my trustworthy church body. It was refreshing to hear.

A few of my blog friends are also struggling with their adopted children now. Angela and Kelly, I will continue to pray for you as I deal with the issues in my house. Each time I cry out, I will cry out for you also. God has called us to this journey and he has equiped us with everything we need as we need it!! Hang in there girls!!!