What a treat...

The girls and I worked diligently for a long time practicing the motions they are doing in two songs in our homeschool Christmas musical in a few weeks. Everyone was tired afterwards and had some quiet time. I let them end the quiet time early and we had hot chocolate with whip cream and homemade Christmas cookies which they helped make the day before!! Wow, at that moment, I was the best Mom in the world!!

Christmas Tree

We put up our Christmas tree the Friday after Thanksgiving. We have an average size tree, but the girls both said they have never had one that large or pretty. This brought tears to my eyes. I am so lucky to have them as my children!! Each child picked out a special ornament at Disney World. My husband let Haylee and Hannah hang their ornaments first.

Haylee after she hung her special ornaments. She picked out Belle in a glass ball. You can see it on the tree next to her.

Hannah hung her ornament next. Both girls had fun decorating the tree.

Of course, Tucker, Alex, and Morgan also hung their special ornaments from Disney World too.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving went pretty well. At times, Hannah and Haylee would not know what to do. They would just come and look at me. I believe they weren't used to having so much free time. We weren't having school of course, so they could just play. They definately do better with structure. As the weekend went on, this improved. Hannah struggled more with the holiday. She seemed to be on the outside looking in many times. She would just be by herself watching. I am not sure what she was thinking. My husband and I believe she really struggled the week before because of the arrival of the holiday. During the time when the family was here I believe she was taking it all in to see how our family acts. I found her staring at me many times. She spent a lot of time watching everyone. She was trying to outdo Morgan many times. I wish I could read her mind.

Approval

I believe Hannah is doing whatever to get approval. She is getting herself in trouble multiple times a day due to this. I have prayed about what is going on and I feel like approval and acceptance is the root issue. She is hurting the feelings of others, acting like she is clueless when she isn't and driving me crazy with staring at me and making her fake face. I am really struggling with her right now. I am having to fight the feeling of wanting to avoid her. When she first came I had to make myself love on her. It got easier. Right now it is hard again. I hate feeling this way. I know it isn't right. I do love them and wouldn't trade them for anything. She even stares at me for approval when she says prayers at night. I have suspected and on occasion I have peeked and caught her staring at me. Tonight I stopped the prayers and reminded her that she is praying to God and she doesn't need my approval about what she is saying.

I took the girls to a Community Thanksgiving Service tonight at another church. A sweet friend of ours was telling the story of Esther from Esther's point of view. It was great and the girls said they enjoyed it also. However, one lady on the praise team looked like their birth mom. Not as thin in the face, but VERY similar. Hannah noticed it very quickly when the lady went on stage. Ugh! I wonder what issues this will cause tonight or tomorrow. I pray none.

Nice Afternoon

All four girls played well together. I would hear some voices raise and then calm back down. Each time I checked on them, Hannah was with them. She was hanging on the outskirts of the playing. For example, one time she was holding and petting the dog. Baby steps...

I was able to get info together to go the social security office for new numbers. Does my adoption decree have to be an original or can it be a copy?

Friends

How do you help a 9 year old girl develop friendships? Hannah wants a friend so bad she smothers them. I don't know how to help her. We have a friend over today and I reminded her before the girl came to not invade her personal space and to not be pushy or demanding towards her. Well, we weren't home 5 minutes and I had to call her from the room and have a discussion wth her. Haylee doesn't struggle with this issue. It makes me so sad for Hannah. I don't want her to not be able to develop friendships.

Overall things are going pretty well in our house. I had a busy but nice break with the girls at my parents for two nights. The first thing Haylee said to me when she got home was, "We didn't get in trouble." Well, I guess she heard our repeated warnings before they left. My parents said they were super. I am so happy that they did so well. Hannah even said she wasn't scared at night. This is huge for her!!!

Both girls are doing okay in school. Hannah is completing her work more accurately and Haylee is doing her work quickly and accurately. I think her meds have leveled out and we can function on this dosage. She is transitioning better in the afternoons. She is usually at swim team or dance during that time and I believe that has helped. Morgan is regressing some in her diligance. I guess the newness of being the big sister has worn off. She is slipping back into her baby mode in some ways. I have to say, I was glad some of those days were behind us. Hopefully they won't last long.

We are having my family here for Thanksgiving. My parents and my brother and his wife and their new baby will be here. I am excited about them coming. They will all be here for two nights. I think the girls will do okay. I am going to have to make an effort to make sure they get enough sleep. Our issues are much worse without sleep.

I was talking with the girls about the menu yesterday and Haylee's requests were cranberry sauce out of a can and pumpkin pie. I am not a fan of pumpkin pie, but I guess I will make one for her. I am excited for them as we celebrate this first Thanksgiving and Christmas with them.

All in all, they are doing great!!

Frustrated

What do you do when a child has broken the same rule each day for the last three days. She has been disciplined and written scriptures. She did it again tonight. Is something not connecting? Is it the cause and effect issues? It is not a big huge thing. It is a simple rule. We don't eat in the car without permission and especially not candy!! Don't get me wrong, we eat in the car all the time. However, sugary candy is limited at our house for many reasons. In fact, I may be too strict, but the kids all ask permission to get a snack. You may think I am nuts, but it is a rule we have always had. It may sound trivial, but if she can't follow the small rules, how will she follow the big ones?

On a positive note, my parents are going to keep all three girls for two nights. I am nervous about them going. I trust my parents completely, but the girls have never been away from me overnight. We have talked to them about going and they really want to go. I think since they will all be together, they will be okay. I will have two days without them. Believe it or not, this brings mixed emotions. I can "let my guard down" and relax some. I am sure I will stay very busy playing catch up around here. The boys are going on a field trip, so my husband and I are going Christmas shopping...with no kids!! We haven't been by ourselves much at all since the girls came to live with us. I hope the next few days go well for everyone.

Adoption Awareness Month

November is National Adoption Awareness month. I have pondered what to post regarding adoption awareness. It is called for the in the bible to care for the widows and orphans. However, that doesn't always mean you are called to adopt, but there are many other ways to answer this call. I encourage you to pray and see where you can help. So many children need our help.

A blog friend of mine posted her son speaking about being an orphan here. It is very touching. He is almost in tears as he finishes the videos. She is an amazing woman of God.

She also posted this about what it is like in an adoptive home for at least the first year. So many things which people can't see are going on in our lives. Most people have been wonderful to us, but some just don't get it. I am able to go on my way usually and let things roll off. Sometimes it is harder than others. We must keep our eyes fixed on God. He is our leader, our comforter, our healer, our strength and many more things as well. We are so blessed to have Haylee Ann and Hannah Beth as our children. I can't say it is easier than it was six months ago, just different. I wouldn't change anything. I just continue to pray for wisdom to parent the best I can. We are moving forward, one step at a time. We are in a new season. We are pressing on and will continue to do the best we can in raising all five of our children.

Testing Boundaries

Well, the adoption has been final a few weeks now. Sweet Haylee Ann stood in front of the church last week and said I am a **last name** now. She was so sweet and proud. The excitement has ended. The party is over.

Haylee Ann and Hannah Beth are both testing the boundaires around here. Intentional disobediance. Not any complex things, simple things. Getting out of your bed before the set time to get up, after being told multiple times. Not telling the other girls to get ready to go, but sitting and pouting instead. Choosing to touch in stores when your hands are suppose to be in your pockets because you have been told multiple times in less than five minutes to not touch. After touching again and getting in trouble, you use your foot to touch!! After this happened, my husband took her to the car. She came back and apoligized for disobeying.

Both girls have learned to write and have memorized the scripture from Ephesians 6:1, "Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." It breaks my heart to have to discipline for things that seem so trivial, but we have to look at the big picture. I reminded both of them today that if I can't trust them with the little things, they won't be trusted with the big things.

They are having to learn boundaries that our birth children learned so much earlier in life. I reminded myself today that they probably had no boundaries until about 6 years old. As long as they stayed out of their birth parents way, they were okay. So sad.

Hannah Beth was in trouble this morning for disobeying, due to Haylee Ann telling on her. Well, when Haylee was in trouble this afternoon for disobediance, she didn't think she deserved the same punishment. Wrong!!

The girls are really doing pretty well. School is tough most days, but we endure. Haylee Ann's meds were increased again last week. We will see how school is this week.

Remember...

Today, in the busyness of it all, I was reminded of the life my girls have in their past. They started talking about their birth parents and things that happened in their past. They said they thought they could trust them, but really they shouldn't have. Haylee said, "But they were our parents and we thought we could." It just broke my heart!!! I try really hard to never say anything negative about their birth parents. They remember them very well. I mean they came to us at eight years old, of course they remember. The stories they tell!! The lies they were told by their parents. It is so heartbreaking!!

We had a really tough day homeschooling, so I believe this was God's gentle reminder to me of the trauma my girls have been through and that it will take time to heal all of their hurts and wounds. Eventhough sometimes I expect them to be like my birth children, they aren't. They have come so far in only 7 months. Well, in three days it will be seven months. I look back at where this journey started and I am truly amazed at the work God has done!!

They are behind academically, but they are slowly catching up. I think they have the ability, they have been taught to think for themselves. Believe me, they aren't enabled in around here. They told me when they were in school they didn't have to rework their mistakes, the teacher did them on the board. I told her that with me homeschooling them, they will rework their mistakes so that I know they understand the concept. She was of course not happy because she was preparing to rework her math, as she does everyday. We work and work until we get it. My husband worked with Hannah when he got home tonight with fractions. Hopefully this time she got it and it will stick. If not, I will teach it again tomorrow.

My husband and I went to dinner with friends tonight. It was nice to relax and eat without children and hundreds of comments and questions. The waitress couldn't believe that we had nine children between the two couples. It was pretty funny.

Update

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. It has been really busy around here.

Haylee is still taking the meds for ADHD. It has helped her stay focused more during school, but she is very slow in her work. The great news is that she is doing GREAT work!! I am very happy about that!! Though it is still slow, she finishes much earlier than she was completing her assignments. We are still on a pretty low dosage and I am hoping we can stay there. She shakes some in the mornings about thirty minutes after taking it, but it does go away. She has a hard time around 4-5:30 as the meds are wearing off. She has a few little fits during that time, usually at Hannah. She has been pretty ugly to Hannah a few times lately. She is sneaky about it, but I can read between the lines and have called her on her comments and actions.

Hannah on the other hand works way too fast in school and ends up having to redo most everything because she just doesn't pay attention. She then gets angry and shuts down. The crying everyday is getting very old and frustrating. She is really struggling with fractions. She can understand if you have four pieces that are all one fourth. However, if you have a shape with 1/2, 1/4 and 1/4, you lose her completely. I am stepping back from the topic for a few days and we will try it again next week, another way.

Everyone is happy that the adoption is final. I believe the girls are adjusting to the fact that the adoption isn't the talk all of the time. They are having to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. They are doing really well overall.