Attachment or manipulation??

I just typed an entire post and somehow deleted it....here we go again.

This may sound petty to some of you, but when dealing with hurt children, my view gets blurred by the manipulation. 

Today, the twins were getting ready for dance.  They wear pink tights and black leotards with their hair in a ponytail. Haylee comes out dressed with a huge blue sequenced bow in her hair.  I tell her we aren't wearing that to dance and take it out.  I think she had about four knots in the bow and two hair bands.  (Sensory stuff??)  I tell her I will help fix her hair when we get to dance.

Hannah walks in and looks very nice.  I tell her she looks nice and she did a good job fixing her hair.  It looked really good!!

We all load up to go to dance and swim team.  In the car, Haylee asks if I will fix her hair at dance.  I tell her yes; even though, I had already told her in the house. 

We travel the five to ten minutes to dance and start unloading to go inside.  Hannah asks me if I can fix her hair also.  As I am getting out of the car, I turn back and her hair is down.  I asked her why her hair was down, it had looked so nice.  She said that it got messed up and the back was coming down. 

Thoughts are swirling through my head as she tells me this.  We all walk inside and the older three head to the pool for swim team.  I take the twins to the bathroom to fix their hair.  I asked Hannah why she took her hair down.  The story I get this time is that she had bobby pins in the back and she didn't know if I would like them. What??  Why would I have a problem with bobby pins in the back under her ponytail.  I never have in the past.  The only thing I can ever remember saying about bobby pins was that they aren't meant to be worn in the front on top of your head, they are meant to not be very noticeable. 

I fixed Haylee's hair for dance.  I start fixing Hannah's hair.  I asked her why she told me a story about why her hair was down when I would much rather her say that she would like me to brush and fix her hair because she likes it.   I asked her why she feels she has to manipulate the situation to get her way.  ( I realize she can't answer that question, but it is what I said.)  She just continued to make up reasons.  I told her to stop because she it just lying and going to get her into trouble.  She kept trying to tell me different versions of the story.  Of course, she says I am not and I didn't take my hair down on purpose.  Explain to me how her hair can get messed up traveling 5-10 minutes in the car.  She had even wet her hair at home when she was fixing it, so I know it didn't come down on its own.  Haylee chimes in and says that Hannah just took it down, it didn't fall.  She is the master at keeping a straight face and making eye contact when she is manipulating or lying.  It is getting harder and harder to tell the truth from lies.  She whines a little and says, "But Momma, I am not lying."  It is so hard, because all of our friends believe her and say that she doesn't mean to lie.  Obviously, I ignore their opinion. 

Swim Team

We had an out of town swim meet today.  I am so proud of all of my children!!  However, Haylee and Hannah have improved so much!!  It is truly amazing.  Two girls that could barely keep their heads above water 21 months ago are competing in swim meets and doing really well! 

Haylee is either really "on" or really "not one."  Today was a really "on" day and she looked great.  She was focused and determined.  They both really improved their times.  Their confidence was so amazing today.  I talked to all of the kids on the way to the meet about how a lot of younger kids that have never competed will be there.  Be alert and help them if needed.  All five kids were very helpful.  I was helping get the newer kids to their blocks to swim.  I was encouraging a little girl to finish her race.  I looked over a few lanes and our Coach had asked Haylee to jump in and help a little guy swimming finish his freestyle race.  It was precious!!  What a confidence builder for the Coach to ask Haylee to help a little guy not much smaller than her in the pool!!!  It was such a God moment!  I wish I had a picture.  He finished the race with Haylee encouraging him and swimming next to him.  God is so good!! 

All five kids swam best times and had fun. 

On the hard days, it is so helpful to reflect on how far the girls have come.  God is so good to us!!

Not a fun day...

One little girl and I haven't had a fun day today.  Let me back up a little bit...

My husband and I went to Scottsdale, Arizona this past weekend for a meeting.  We left Thursday morning and returned Sunday.  I began talking to the kids early in the week about our trip.  They would ask questions about who, where and why and I would answer all of them.  My husband's parents came and stayed with them for the weekend.  We were very up front with the kids about the same rules apply while we were gone, etc, etc.  THE KIDS DID GREAT!!!  We are so happy and proud of them. 

They went to my husband's office Monday for some dental work.  They reverted big time!  They majorly talked like babies.  He said it hasn't been that bad in a long time.  He corrected them there, but it was also dealt with at home.  They were sent to bed early that night and also aren't allowed to participate in an event for their age children that they were looking forward too.  We have worked so hard at stopping the baby talk, that we were both surprised when it came back so heavily.  I am sure it was because we were gone for the weekend.  We did gently correct it Sunday night when we returned, so we weren't as gentle Monday.

Well, of course the fall happens after you return.  It hasn't been totally horrible, but one child has struggled more than the others. 

I was discouraged Monday thinking what am I doing wrong.  She was fine with my in-laws while we were gone.  What am I doing to cause the reactions?  I called her and asked if I handled something okay.  It was regarding if you fail a test after trying two times (computer history) then shouldn't you retake the four lessons that the test covers again?  I thought is was a simple question, but I wanted to make sure. 

Anyway, Tuesday was a little more trying.  Today was even worse.  We had some anger flaring at siblings, we couldn't figure out how long a line is with a ruler, etc.  I think she shut down today. 

She also made a very poor choice in purchasing something while I was gone this weekend from a sibling.  In the past, we have reversed the deal when it was unfair.  However, this time we let it stand.  She said she had the money and wanted it, so she bought it.  The item was worth maybe 50 cents. 

Long story short, the girls have been in our home 1 year and 7 months.  I am beginning to see more and more issues from attachment and fetal alcohol effects and/or the genetic learning disablitlies from one twin.  I was hoping and praying we wouldn't have to deal with some of these major issues.  The girls have come soooo far!  I don't want you to get me wrong.  One sweet daughter really struggles with making good choices and cause and effect.  I am sad about this again today.  I am going to have to read up on some of these issues again to see what I need to do differently.

Jabbering...

As I sit here checking in on blogs I follow...all I hear is jabbering from both girls...they don't sound like ten year olds.  One is sitting on the couch and one is loading the dishwasher.  I just try to ignore it.  I realize this is part of their growing up, making up for missed years.

I am taking the twins to a fall festival tonight at a friend's church.  Their girls are 1 and 4 1/2.  They will love it.  They have fun playing with the four year old. 

Morgan is at a friend's house this afternoon.  She was given a choice of the fall festival or going to her friend's house.  My husband and I both think she seems sad like something is wrong.  I tried to talk with her and didn't get anywhere.  Tucker said my husband also talked to her and didn't get anything either.  Please pray for her.  This is been a difficult journey for her.  She loves it most of the time, but things are so different than they would have been.  Maybe she just needs time away.  The three girls played together all day yesterday.

The boys are going fishing with my husband again this afternoon. 

Old Habits Surface Again

Alex has a friend over tonight that lives out of town.  They have been friends since they were babies.  He came down to spend the night tonight.  Well, the kids were playing outside.  I walk out and Haylee has reverted to baby talk and Hannah is flirting telling the friend that she can't believe he is only 12 because he looks much older.  Ugh...

Needless to say, they are watching a movie now and the girls are on one side of the couch and the boys are on the other.  Morgan is the barrier between the twins and the other boys. 

I guess when they try to impress the new person they get uncomfortable and revert back to their old ways.

Well Angela, I blew it already!!!

Baby Adoption

No, we aren't adopting again.  For their birthday, Haylee and Hannah wanted to adopt Le*e Midd*leton nursery babies.  Morgan adopted one when she was 6 and still loves to play with her.  So, we went Friday and they adopted their babies.  The lady at the store talked with them about how to take care of their babies.  It was a very sweet time for the girls. 

Haylee listened to the heart beat of her baby.

Hannah checked her baby's diaper and practiced buttoning her clothes.

Success...for one

Morgan's best friend turned eleven last week.  She had a spend the night party.  She also had a spend the night party last year.  Both years she has invited all three girls.  Last year, we didn't let the twi*ns spend the night.  We didn't feel like they were ready.  This year I talked to the mother a long time about what to watch for and to expect.  We decided to let them try to spend the night.

They all three stayed all night.  Morgan came home happy with them and not complaining which means they did okay.  I have seen some pictures from the party and they all looked happy.  Hannah ran out to me the next morning very proud.  She said, " I did it and didn't have any bad dreams!"  She was very excited and proud.  She should be!  I am very happy for her this is a big step.  I was really only worried about her.  She had a great day yesterday after the party.  She is doing very well right now.

However, Haylee didn't do so well yesterday.  She had a great time at the party.  I knew she would.  One of her good friends also spent the night, so I knew she would be fine.  Yesterday was not a good day for her.  She disobeyed on a very simple thing.  I told her not to do something and the next thing I know, she is doing it.  She said she wanted to do it and so she did.  Ugh!!  Then she was writing scripture as part of the punishment for disobedience.  I specifically told her she wasn't to play or watch TV until she was finished.  I find her in the hallway watching the movie Hannah and Morgan are watching.  Ugh...again.  She finished her scripture and played for the afternoon.  We all watched a movie last night and she had to go to bed early and not participate in the popcorn and movie.  I am so sad about this. I guess she is comfortable enough in our home now that she is starting to test.  I wonder if her testing yesterday was because the boundaries at the party weren't as strict.  She wanted to know if she could do the same at home. 

Lately, most of her problems have revolved around food.  I have been praying for God to show me what is going on.  I talked to her about the fact that she always has plenty of food here and she knows she will be provided the next meal as well.  She agreed  with me.  I am praying God will give me wisdom regarding this issue. 

Control

I believe we are reaching a new phase in the adoption cycle.  It has been here a while, but it is becoming more and more apparent.  My husband and I talked about it today and agree that we are having control issues with the girls.  They are both trying to control us, me mostly, in different ways. 

We had a horrible start to the day today.  I won't go into details, but we have a rule in our family that no matter what time you get up, you must be finished at the breakfast table by 7:45 so you will be ready for school by 8:00.  If you get up late, you have less time for breakfast.  They are suppose to get up at 7 am.  This system has worked pretty well this year with most of the kids. 

Haylee is usually a problem.  This morning was horrible.  She sat and was basically was silently refusing to eat.  She knows that she must eat because once she takes her medicine she really will not feel like eating. She sat and wasn't eating.  I kept asking her why.  Anyway, I won't go into the details.  She was mad about what she was eating and the amount.  Instead of eating what she wanted of her cereal, she sat and pouted.  I was in and out of the kitchen.  Finally, my husband told her he was tired of this and she better be done before he leaves in 5 minutes.  AMAZING, she ate most of her cereal and drank her glass of milk.  I was not happy.  She ate everything in less than five minutes after sitting there pouting for 30 minutes.  Needless to say, I was not a happy Momma this morning. 

Later in the morning, Hannah was trying to telling me that I was adding some of the mental math problems wrong.  She kept saying the wrong answer and I quietly told her it wasn't correct.  Haylee was still trying to calculate the answer.  She got mad and basically told me I was wrong.  Well, once again, she won because I wasn't to happy about her telling me I was wrong about the answer.   

I think these are both ways of them controlling or feeling as they are in control.  What do you think?  Other things are happening, these are just two examples from today.  We are going to be on the lookout for other instances in the next few days. 

We are going to my parents lake house this weekend.  I am a little uneasy that we are going with these issues going on. My parents are very supportive and us and the girls.  I think things will be okay. 

School

We started school again Wednesday. We are doing math, history, handwriting and reading. The mornings are going well. I tried to structure the morning to give them a window to get up, eat and dressed to start the day. So far, I haven't had to pester anyone to get ready and get moving. Of course, we are only on day 3. Everyone is finishing before lunch because of the light load. I hope the positive continues...

The girls all completed review math books this summer. I was thirty lessons of grade level review. There was no lesson, just review. It really challenged the twins, but I am so glad I had them complete the books. They are doing very well with their regular math. Of course, it is all very simple review right now, but they aren't struggling at all. I am so happy. Things that we really struggled with a year ago are very easy for them now. I am so glad!! The blood, sweat and tears are paying off!!

They are worth every bit of it!!

Orphans

A group of people from our church went on a mission trip to Peru last week. They spoke at church last night about their trip. It sounds like many lives were touched during their trip, as well as their own. During their presentation they talked about the children at the orphanage they visited.

They spoke of how happy the children were to have visitors. How they just clung to them and wanted to hold their hands. How they wanted so bad to be loved. When the group left, the children asked them not to forget them, to please come back. The group didn't have plans to return, but ended up working another visit in during their trip. The kids were thrilled to see them again. They were glad they weren't forgotten. They spoke about how these kids need security and a family. Most of them may never have a family. All of the things they said about these children, I could relate too.

I picture my girls the first time I saw them. They clung to us the first time we met them. They wanted to hold our hands and not let go. We went to a local fast food restaurant and they wanted to ride with us. We visited with them for about three hours and then left. They didn't want us to leave them that day. They told us later they were worried we wouldn't come back. They wanted a forever home very badly.

They came to our house for a visit later in the week. They stayed three nights and we took them back to their foster family. I remember Hannah gettting in the foster mother's van and quietly crying. She didn't want us to leave her. She was afraid we wouldn't return. She cried the next few days alot while she was at the foster home. I can only imagine what she was thinking because she did break every rule possible while she was here the few days. She didn't believe we were coming back. When they first came they wanted to hold our hands often. They immediately called us Mom and Dad with little meaning. Now, it has meaning to them.

I am so thankful that God blessed us with our precious girls. It isn't always a fun or easy journey, but it is God's plan for our family. I am glad that we were able to provide a loving secure home for Haylee and Hannah. I am so happy they are not children still hoping and waiting for a forever family. So many children are still waiting. Some may never find their forever family. I hope we can continue to teach them to have a heart for their heavenly father.

My husband just walked in...so...we are off to Cullman!!

It took them a while to believe they were really going to stay forever in our home.

Attachment

Thursday my dad was having a heart cath. As much as I wanted to be with my parents for the procedure, I have five children to take care of and my mom was with him. I had an uneasy feeling all day. My mom called and said the procedure went well and he had three stents. Well, the afternoon went on and she called again. He was having heart attack symptoms. He was rushed back to the lab, the doctor was still there, in between patients, thank you God. They were able to open up the blockage with a balloon and insert a fourth stent. My mother called after they took him back and I decided to quickly leave and drive the three hours to the hospital. They had the heart surgeon on standby if needed. Thank you Lord they didn't have to open him up. When I arrived he was stable and uncomfortable. By this morning, his color was good and the actually discharged him. Many prayer warriors were interceding for him in this time of need. I appreciate everyone of them. I am so glad God was not finished with him here on earth!!

Anyway, the reason for me to tell you this is about Hannah. I often wonder about the bond between the two of us. When I walked out in tears and told them we needed to stop and pray for my dad she got a fearful yet concerned look. We prayed and I was still trying to decide whether to go or stay. We had an Adoption Support Group party that night and I hated to miss it. Anyway, I made the decision to go and tearfully told them I was going and why. She immediately started crying and clung to me. I held her for a few minutes and told them the plans for the next hour until the party. I am sure she was afraid of another loss in her little life. I am so thankful that didn't occur. My dad is great with her. He is so patient and caring at times I am very short with her. All of my children adore their PawPaw. A dear friend of mine was at the party and she said she was "not herself" at the party. She behaved fine, but she could tell she wasn't at peace. So, after pondering the events in hindsight, some positive signs of attachment have/are occurring. I am always encouraged when either one of the girls run to me in a time of need whether it be sadness, injury, concern, etc. This is one of those times. I wouldn't want a replay of Thursday at all, but I am encouraged by Hannah's responses to the situation. It was a healthy response.

Haylee just rolled with the events. I think this must be how she has handled things in her past because, so far, she has shared very little about being hurt or upset. I believe her personality and ADHD has protected her from many things. She has only expressed tears and sadness over missing a half sister one time. She has never mentioned her birth parents. Hannah has cried for them a few times since she has been with us. I am sure Haylee will eventually share, but not yet.

I am encouraged that attachment is occurring. I pray God will continue the good work and progress will continue!

Wild and stressed

Haylee and Hannah are riding the tube behind my dad's boat. This pictures says it all. Haylee is riding like a wild and crazy woman. Hannah is hanging on for her life.

They both enjoyed being at the lake this past weekend.

Birthday Party

I took the girls to the birthday party last week. I was anxious about the whole thing. I went in with the girls and the Mom in charge started telling me the plans for the scavenger hunt. It was great! They were not going in stores. I was so relieved! They went to an older ladies house and gave her hugs and she told about her birthdays during her lifetime. It was her pastors mother-in-law. They went to the local food bank and donated can goods. The lady explained how by helping feed the needy they are acting as Jesus would. They also went to a new pastor homeschooling family and built pyramids in their yard and rang the doorbell and welcomed them to town. I did leave them and she said they did well. Of course, they were on the back porch when I arrived to pick them up and I could hear them above everybody. She said they weren't the only loud girls there.

I was very happy they did well. Baby steps...

Doctor Appt

Our doctor appointment went well last Friday. The girls saw the geneticist. He had seen them last August, so it had been about 10 months.


He said a few interesting things.


One of the first things he asked was if people often tell me that they look like me. I told him they do. He came in and had me read over his report from our last visit. It stated the genetic abnormalities we are dealing with. He then had began just talking with them and evaluating their conversation skills. He asked about their academics. I continued to tell him their strengths and weaknesses. The weaknesses are what he expected. I did tell him that they made "box" brownies the other day with little assistance. They big exciting part is that together they measured 2/3 and 1/4 without me. I just told them they were correct. Other than Hannah wanting to pour the batter in the dish with egg still floating on top, they did much better. It was a happy dance day!!


Anyway, back to the doctor. He was very pleased with how well the girls spoke this time. He said last time they couldn't carry a conversation. He also said last time they didn't use expression when they talked. This time their facial expressions went with what they were talking about. I had never thought about that before, but that has improved. They were also very shy the last time we were there. He didn't see that this time. They had more confidence. He also commented that they looked healthier. They are more fuller looking in the face. I had noticed this before. My friends have also noted this to me.


Haylee had grown 2 inches in ten months and Hannah had grown 1 inch. I hope Hannah has another growth spurt soon. I really don't want her to have growth hormone shots if we can avoid it. Time to step up the growth prayers again!!


He said to keep doing what we are and to come back in 2-3 years. We may or may not go back. He said the truth about the chromosome abnormalities need to be explained to them when they get to child bearing age. It can effect their children. Ugh. I don't don't how we will handle this. It will depend on their mental maturity. The growth doctor said they are about 1 year and 7 months behind in physical growth. The are late bloomers. Hopefully puberty will be the same way.


All in all, it was a good visit. I am very proud of how much they have learned in one year!

Party

The girls have been invited to a birthday party tomorrow. Actually, all three girls were invited, but Morgan is still at camp. I would feel much better about leaving them if Morgan was there. The girls are doing so much better and have come so far in almost 14 months, but they still have issues. I am not sure they will ever "get" some things.

Things still happen that frustrate me so much. I am not going to detail them because others would probably so I am being petty. However, even a four year old would know better. Social settings we have been in quite a few times and can't remember how to behave. We struggle remembering our boundaries regarding hugging and touching people.

They struggle with friendships. For this birthday tomorrow, I was talking with the girls about not hanging all over the other girls. They can't grasp my problem with their actions. They struggle with the fact a hug must be wanted by both people. We don't hang all over our friends. Hannah mentioned she would sit with the birthday girl in the car tomorrow. I had to explain that there will be 12 friends of this person at the party tomorrow. Some of them are much closer to this person than Hannah. Hannah thought she would be her buddy tomorrow. I had to explain that may not be the case. They are doing a scavenger hunt downtown. I am nervous about it. The mother doesn't want me to go, but I might. I will just have to evaluate the situation in the morning when I drop them off. I am happy they were invited and I want them to go. I am just really anxious about the party. If we have struggles in the morning, we may not go. My friends always tell me they do well for them, maybe I am too strict. No, I am not. I have to be in my world or all will fall apart.

Anyway, enough of that...I will let you know how things go.

We are headed to my parents tomorrow for the remainder of the week. Well, the twins and Alex will be with me. Morgan is at camp and my husband and Tucker are going to a Father/Son retreat in Texas this weekend. We will pick up Morgan Saturday and return home. We will pack Sunday and leave for our annual beach trip Monday.

It is a very busy month for us.

School is out for the summer...

Yes, we are finished with our "official" school year. The girls are all finishing their online history program for the year. They love doing it, so it isn't a problem. I purchased some simple math and literature books for them to complete this summer. I told them when they are finished with them, they are done until school starts in the fall. Morgan and Alex are doing well working through their books. I didn't expect any problems. Hannah and Haylee are working well, but struggling with the math. They have been taught the info, but when it is presented differently they struggle with "putting it all together."

Haylee has been off of her meds for over a week now. She did very well at first and I started wondering if she could stay off forever. Well, the longer she is off the more her symptoms resurface. She is struggling with the small amount of school she has and she can't sit still. She doesn't seem as hyper and wild, but fidgets all the time. I know they say this medicine doesn't stay in her body, but it sure seems like it took a while to totally be gone from her system.

The kids have enjoyed the cooler weather outside the last few days. It has given me time to complete grades and figure out and order school books for next year. I finally pushed the order button for the bulk of my books today. I have a few more things, but I can't wait on those.

Morgan goes to camp in two weeks. I can't believe it! What will I do? More importantly, what will the twins do? I guess they will learn to play together again. I wonder who will control who? Will it be like "old times" when Hannah took care of Haylee? Will Haylee stand her ground and be equal? It should be interesting.

I feel like Hannah, Haylee and I need to work on our attachment. When you have other children, it seems like the adopted children attach to them first. Well, Haylee has. I am not sure to whom Hannah has attached, if anyone. I think that will be easier when Morgan is at camp. I ponder attachment issues with Hannah often. They haven't mentioned Mother's Day. I think I may mention it to each of them alone and see if they open up to talk about anything. I am sure they thought of their birth mother.


Tucker and Alex finished their co-op classes with A's. I was very proud of them! As I helped Tucker review for his Biology final, I was really glad I wasn't taking it because I couldn't pronounce half of the words.

Tucker has an opportunity to go to Alaska for the Teen Pact Survival camp with some friends of ours. She and her dad are going. He can fly with them and participate. They used frequent flyer miles, which is great for them. However, for me to get him on the same flights, it is twice the cost of other tickets. We are praying about what to do. My husband and I think maybe it just isn't the right time for him to go. Flights went up today from yesterday. If it is meant to happen the cost will change or God will show us the way, I have no doubt. There is something wrong with paying for an airline ticket for one person when our entire family could travel somewhere for that amount closer. We are praying...

Testing and tears

Can we have one school morning where we don't have tears? It has started everyday lately. I am mentally worn out by mid-morning some days. Hannah cries about something...school, made poor choices and was corrected, I could keep naming reasons, EVERYDAY. It is never a surprise anymore. The tears get no sympathy from anyone. I guess this is her form of rage. I am afraid one day she is going to explode.

Hannah is testing everything. It is like we are having to relearn rules again. She is asking questions that she knows the answer. I guess she is trying to see if our answer will change. All of us tend to selfishness, but these girls have it much worse. They are having a hard time remembering that they don't do things just because they want to.

Haylee was told to come in and set the table tonight. She didn't come in and I went out to get her. I asked her why she didn't come in and she shrugged her shoulders and said, "I don't know." That doesn't fly around here. She heard when she was told. She chose not to come in because she wanted to play. Well, guess what, she is already in the bed.

Hannah was asked to not play the piano while Haylee was testing. Guess what? She did it anyway, because she wanted too. Ugh...

These are just two of the many examples of what we deal with. The blessing is they do not rage. They can have little fits, but no raging.

Haylee doesn't lie often. Hannah will if she isn't careful. Her instinct is to say whatever she needs to say to stay out of trouble. For example, saying she didn't know why she looked at the answer key to the worksheet she was doing. She said she didn't know why she looked. She changed her story three times and never said she was looking for an answer.

What? Do they get it?

We move in good and bad cycles around here. We are in a not so good cycle around here now.

Catch up...

My parents did very well with the girls last weekend. They had them three nights. The first night was at my house then they went to their house. Overall, they did pretty well. My mother loves to "give in" to the kids. However, they know that we can't allow the boundaries to be very relaxed for the girls right now. She let them have loose boundaries and the testing started. My dad didn't let the big things slip. Nothing major happened, but the stories from my parents were pretty funny. The girls were trying to see if the rules apply with them as they do with us. My dad was quick to tell them the same rules applied.

I thought it had been long enough to leave the girls with my parents for three nights. I will never forget the look on Hannah's face when we arrived at my parents house to pick them up. I can't even describe the look to you. It wasn't a happy look. What the look meant, I believe, is that she isn't as attached as I thought. She didn't really care that we were back, it appeared. We definitely took some steps backwards after the separation. The first few days of the week were difficult, but we both survived. I think she it getting back to her normal now. I wonder if that will ever change? Haylee was glad to see us.

It has been a difficult week. We had a lot going on and I am staying so exhausted. Morgan is having stomach troubles again. This is very troubling to me.

The t*wins have an appt next week with the endocrinologist and Morgan has an appt with the pediatric gastro doctor. It will be another busy week.

Changes

The dynamics among the kids is changing around here lately. It is interesting. Hannah has surprised me with some of the things she has said to Haylee lately. I wonder if some resentment is starting to show. Haylee doesn't need Hannah as her protector anymore. She hasn't since she has been in our home. Hannah has seemed to be defensive of Haylee toward me lately, but not very friendly to her. They have had a few yelling fights in the last few days which I have needed to intervene. Interesting...

I am not sure what is going on...time will tell. They are staying with my parents this weekend. I hope it all goes well.

Father Daughter Dance

I spent last night in Atlanta with only the boys. I was a nice change. They get so little of my attention because the girls demand so much!! The boys are very understanding of the demands of the girls. It was very quiet!! Well, I took the boys to a swim meet and Elliott stayed home with the girls. They had a dress up date night last night and had a wonderful time. I had to get home today to help them get ready for the first annual Father Daughter Dance in our town. About 45 people attended. They aren't home yet, but I am sure it was great!! Elliott had a sweet speech planned about learning to "dance" with your daughters. He mentioned that two of our girls are adopted. He said it took him about 4-5 years to learn to "dance" with Morgan. It was difficult but they dance well together now. He said that he is still learning to dance with Haylee and Hannah and a lot of toes are being stepped on in the process. It is a challenge worth taking. Girls desire to "dance" with their fathers. Each of them have a different "dance". It is worth stepping on toes to figure it out. It can be life changing. Anyway, it was a very meaningful speech. He probably doesn't even know I read it. He left it on the computer when he left tonight.