One little girl and I haven't had a fun day today. Let me back up a little bit...
My husband and I went to Scottsdale, Arizona this past weekend for a meeting. We left Thursday morning and returned Sunday. I began talking to the kids early in the week about our trip. They would ask questions about who, where and why and I would answer all of them. My husband's parents came and stayed with them for the weekend. We were very up front with the kids about the same rules apply while we were gone, etc, etc. THE KIDS DID GREAT!!! We are so happy and proud of them.
They went to my husband's office Monday for some dental work. They reverted big time! They majorly talked like babies. He said it hasn't been that bad in a long time. He corrected them there, but it was also dealt with at home. They were sent to bed early that night and also aren't allowed to participate in an event for their age children that they were looking forward too. We have worked so hard at stopping the baby talk, that we were both surprised when it came back so heavily. I am sure it was because we were gone for the weekend. We did gently correct it Sunday night when we returned, so we weren't as gentle Monday.
Well, of course the fall happens after you return. It hasn't been totally horrible, but one child has struggled more than the others.
I was discouraged Monday thinking what am I doing wrong. She was fine with my in-laws while we were gone. What am I doing to cause the reactions? I called her and asked if I handled something okay. It was regarding if you fail a test after trying two times (computer history) then shouldn't you retake the four lessons that the test covers again? I thought is was a simple question, but I wanted to make sure.
Anyway, Tuesday was a little more trying. Today was even worse. We had some anger flaring at siblings, we couldn't figure out how long a line is with a ruler, etc. I think she shut down today.
She also made a very poor choice in purchasing something while I was gone this weekend from a sibling. In the past, we have reversed the deal when it was unfair. However, this time we let it stand. She said she had the money and wanted it, so she bought it. The item was worth maybe 50 cents.
Long story short, the girls have been in our home 1 year and 7 months. I am beginning to see more and more issues from attachment and fetal alcohol effects and/or the genetic learning disablitlies from one twin. I was hoping and praying we wouldn't have to deal with some of these major issues. The girls have come soooo far! I don't want you to get me wrong. One sweet daughter really struggles with making good choices and cause and effect. I am sad about this again today. I am going to have to read up on some of these issues again to see what I need to do differently.
Delaney is really struggling right now. Lets hope for both of us it's a phase or the weather change. LOL. JK I completely understand and it is very discouraging for me too. Delaney has been home over three years and honestly she is harder than ever. Ugh
ReplyDeleteShe just kicked a hole in the wall in her room!!! I am sooooo not happy. UGH
ReplyDeleteIt is not surprising you are seeing more and more of these issues now, but that doesn't make it any easier. In all probability, it is both FASD and genetic learning disabilities. Praying for you both. Remember, you really are awesome!
ReplyDeleteI can so relate. Went away for a weekend - even took the twins with a few weekends ago. It has taken until This past Sunday for things to return to a decent calm. Both kids were reeling very hard to pull me into a power struggle over everything.
ReplyDeleteTruth is, now that we have worked through all that really hard stuff in the first year and a half we're at the point of beginning to work on the really hard Stuff.....
You ask yourself if you are doing something wrong, while as moms we do this and it is probably a good thing we do it from what you are describing it does not sound like it at all. For some reason children often act our with the adults they feel safe with. I have not adopted so perhaps I am not the best to chime in but I watched my sister raise her daughter who had attachment issues and FAS. I have also seen this with bio children. I am not sure why this happens but it does. My husband adopted my biological son and we have the opposite problem he cannot stand my husband to be upset with him and he can't stand it when hubby and I have even a minor disagreement. When I talked to him about it he confided to me that he was afraid if we upset his dad he would leave and then he would be without a father again. So it seems my son is terrified to act up. I often wonder what I did wrong as well. I guess we all feel that way at times.
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