Jabbering...

As I sit here checking in on blogs I follow...all I hear is jabbering from both girls...they don't sound like ten year olds.  One is sitting on the couch and one is loading the dishwasher.  I just try to ignore it.  I realize this is part of their growing up, making up for missed years.

I am taking the twins to a fall festival tonight at a friend's church.  Their girls are 1 and 4 1/2.  They will love it.  They have fun playing with the four year old. 

Morgan is at a friend's house this afternoon.  She was given a choice of the fall festival or going to her friend's house.  My husband and I both think she seems sad like something is wrong.  I tried to talk with her and didn't get anywhere.  Tucker said my husband also talked to her and didn't get anything either.  Please pray for her.  This is been a difficult journey for her.  She loves it most of the time, but things are so different than they would have been.  Maybe she just needs time away.  The three girls played together all day yesterday.

The boys are going fishing with my husband again this afternoon. 

Tea Party

The boys went to the woods this morning to do "guy" things.  So, the girls had a tea party.  They had a grand time.  It always stretches me to be creative for this type of thing.  Well, I believe it was a success and they seemed to enjoy the fun.  I will let the pictures show you what we did.

Dessert! 

All in all, it was a fun way to have lunch with my girls!

Trust

I am stuck.  I am not sure I handled a situation properly.  I am not sure what to do next. 

We were cleaning out toys and stuff in the girls room.  They all three share a room, so we have to clean out frequently to keep a path through the room.  We went in the attic to get some toys down.  We were trying to give away things since the girls just had a birthday and Christmas in coming.  We found a baggie with some beads with letters and shapes and some strings to make bracelets or necklaces.  Morgan says they belong to her and Hannah says they belong to her.  What do I do?  Hannah has been in trouble for not being honest lately.  I asked her how I could trust that she is telling the truth?  She said she isn't lying.  She says they are hers. How do I know who they belong too?

Swim Meet Weekend

I forgot to say that Tucker placed 3rh overall in his age group and Alex placed 5th overall.  They were both in the Boys 13-14 division.  I am proud of them! 

Also, somehow this picture of Hannah didn't make it when posting pictures.  She is waiting for her turn to swim.

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We had a really long weekend this weekend.  We left the house Saturday and Sunday mornings before sunup and returned home after sundown.  Overall, we had a great weekend.  The girls competed in the swim meet in the mornings and the boys in the afternoon because of their ages. 

They all did very well.  Haylee and Hannah both completed each race and improved their times.  They completed some very long races.  I was very proud of them.  They did the best they good and didn't complain.  Because of their short stature most of the nine and 10 girls in their division are much taller than they are which means they automatically take fewer strokes to swim the same distance.  They each swam the 200 free, which is eight links of freestyle, and the 100 Fly which is four links of butterfly.  I probably wouldn't be able to complete either one.

Alex aged up to Tucker's category right before the meet.  They were neck in neck in many races.  Alex caught Tucker one time.  The other races Tucker won by seconds.  Once Alex hits his big growth spurt, he may just catch Tucker. 

Morgan did super this weekend.  This girl has decided she is ready to get down to business and compete.  She won first in the girls 9-10 year old division.  They swim 10 races in two days and the girl with the most points wins the high point trophy.  Well, she did it!!  I was very proud of her.  Even though I am proud of her winning, I am proud proud of what the mother of the 2nd place winner told me.  Morgan beat her daughter by one point.  It came down to the last two races.  She told me that after the last race, Morgan went and spoke to her daughter and told her it was a good race.  Wow, the heart is what matters more than winning any competition.  I thanked her for letting me know she told her daughter that and thanked the Lord immediately for the heart Morgan has.  I don't want any of my children to be arrogant or prideful.  I would rather them lose than to be ugly to anyone.  I am so glad what we are trying to teach is sticking!

Morgan, Haylee and Hannah and their wonderful swim coach.

Haylee waiting to swim.

Last minute advice from the coach before Haylee swims.

Morgan preparing to swim.

Morgan waiting to get her trophy.

Morgan and her coach with her 1st place trophy.

 I guess we didn't take any pictures of the boys this weekend.  Sorry guys!  We will catch you next time!

One year ago today

One year ago today we finalized the adoption of Haylee and Hannah.  We were going to go out to eat to celebrate the day, but Hannah has really struggled the last few days and it all culminated today.  She has been moody the last few days.  She started ugly with Morgan this morning, then was in trouble for smart mouthing me shortly after.  Thank goodness my husband was in the room and her both incidents.  He corrected her for speaking ugly to me.  Our day continued.  We worked on school and met some homeschool families at the park for a play day.  It was a beautiful to spend outside with friends.

Anyway, we got home and she got mad at Haylee and hunted her down to take it out on her.  Haylee asked her why she was hitting her.  She felt like she was doing no wrong by hitting her.  Needless to say, that is not acceptable behaviour by anyone in our home.  My husband took care of the issue.  I was relieved I wasn't having to handle it this time.  She will be writing her scripture instead of playing at the swim meet tomorrow. 

We decided since she wasn't handling the day well, not to make a big deal about the day.  I feel like the day they moved into our home is more special to me.  Also, we just celebrated their birthdays.  I really don't think it is good for them to have these two days so close together.  April 6th is the day they moved in and may be a better day to celebrate. 

What are other adoptive parents thoughts?

Great News!

The doctor appointment went very well.  The girls have each grown about 1 1/2 inches since early March.  They calculate that to be about 6cm per year.  At that growth rate, we hope they will each reach 5 ft tall and we shouldn't need to discuss growth hormone testing.  I am so glad I followed my instinct (God) and asked them on our first appointment to delay growth hormone testing.  I asked them to give her time in her forever home to see if it makes a difference and it definitely has helped.

 Haylee has always been about 1 1/2 inches taller than Hannah, so she will probably end up a little taller.  Hannah has caught her in weight.  Hannah was 47 inches and 47 pounds.  Haylee was 48 1/2 inches tall and 48 pounds.  I am very proud of how they are doing.  We focus a lot on how they eat.  We always make sure they have a protein of some sort.  They exercise plenty between dance and swim team.  We always try to make sure they get plenty of "good" sleep.  Hannah struggles with this more than Haylee because of her nightmares.  She told me to continue having them drink Carn*ation Instant Break*fast in the mornings with their milk.  She said that is actually what their nutritionist recommends. 

Also, we don't have to see her again for a year.  They will probably redo the bone growth x-ray at that point.  They will just be turning eleven and may be getting close to puberty based on their bone age. 

God is so good!!

Also, I think I passed day one even with traveling and going to the doctor.  One daughter even exclaimed at dinner, "That's not fair!!!" and I kept my cool!  I was pretty pleased with myself.

Doctor Appointment

We are about to leave for a doctor appointment about 3 hours away.  I am praying for growth!  I am hoping today will be a better day.to say, I love Hannah dearly.  She is a great girl!  I feel like I am so negative about her sometimes.  She reminds me so much of Morgan when she was younger.  Morgan has turned into a sweet, beautiful young lady. 

Tomorrow is Day 1, again.

I did so well this morning.  I didn't lose my temper.  I tried to work with Hannah two different times on grammar and stopped both times so I would not get negative with her.  She just wants to be finished and will say whatever, without thinking at all.  I stayed neutral with her.  I have to have very little emotion to succeed at this.  I think she struggled this morning because I was refusing the battle. 

Well, they have classes this afternoon.  They loaded their swim things and were getting in the car.  A little incident occurred and Morgan was hit in the head by the large tailgate on my Sequoia.  I am sure it hurt.  She came back in crying.  We were trying to get out the door so I kissed her head, gave her a hug and we were getting to head out the door when in walks Hannah.  I asked why she wasn't in the car and she said she didn't know she was suppose to be.  I not so nicely told her she knew she was suppose to be in the car and better get back in.  We loaded up and headed out. 

I talked Hannah back through the sequence of events leading up to why she was loading up her swim items and getting in the car to go to class.  She agreed with everything I said.  I asked her why she told me she didn't know she was suppose to be in the car.  She said she didn't know.  Ugh!!  She just told me she did!!!
We went over the events three times before she admitted that she knew she was suppose to be in the car when she told me she didn't know. 

About the end of the second time with her telling me she didn't know to get in the car, I lost it.  I wasn't friendly anymore.  I wasn't necessarily negative in words, but my tone wasn't good. 

I don't handle it well when they aren't truthful.  She finally said she came in the check on Morgan.  That would have been okay.  I still would have sent her back to the car, but she wouldn't have been in trouble. 

I was so upset and frustrated I stopped at my husbands office on the way to class.  He just shook his head when I told him what happened.  I asked what I should do.  He gently reminded me that I am trying so hard to act positive and neutral that the enemy is going to try to steal my joy and destroy my good intentions.  He succeeded.  I ended up hurting Hannah and I am totally discouraged. 

God is still in control.  I am learning a lot about myself in this attitude challenge.  I find I don't like the way I act sometimes.  This is even more difficult because I want to do it very well, not just halfway. 

I will try to finish the day well and start over tomorrow.

Almost blew it...

but didn't.  I was working on math with Haylee and Hannah.  Hannah often gets mad at me when I tell her a problem is not correct.  Today we were working through some problems together.  She put an answer and I told her it wasn't correct.  She started the, "but Momma's" with me.  I knew she was getting mad at me.  I started helping Haylee and ignored her.  Eventually, she changed her answer to the correct one.  I told her it was correct.  I then asked her who she was mad at when I told her it was incorrect.  She said she was mad at me.  I told her that it isn't right for her to be mad at me when she can't figure out an answer.  I kept my big girl panties on and stayed calm.  Neither one of us got upset, we just discussed that it isn't me that doesn't know the answer and is frustrated, it is her. 

It is definitely a happier place since I stayed calm and didn't get negative.  We discussed it and moved on.

God is so good!!

Today

Well, I did better today.  It wasn't perfect, but everything I said, I evaluated.  I am not sure if today was good enough to call Day 1 or not.  That is okay because I just want to keep improving.

We had doctor appointments out of town today.  All five kids went with me.  We went in to the large pet store.  The girls wanted to look at the hamsters and birds.  The place was empty because it was 10:30am on a school day.  I left them looking as the boys and I went to get dog food.  We were only gone a few minutes and when we returned, Hannah was trying to open the door to get inside the booth behind the glass where the animals are kept.  I couldn't believe it.  When asked why,of course she said she wanted to go in there.  (Duh, Mom, what a stupid question.)  Well, I can say,I didn't lecture or lose my temper.  I said that is not a good decision for a ten year old.  You will hold my hand and stay next to me the rest of the day.  I have heard other blog friends do this, but I have never actually made any of them hold my hand for a long period of time. 

Well, she thought it was okay at first.  However, we went into a large shoe store next.  She discovered it was no fun to be stuck to Mom like glue when the other girls are looking around.  (They were within my sight also.)  I wasn't negative or ugly.  I just made her hold my hand.  We left the store and went to eat lunch.  I made her get out of the car and hold my hand.  She had to sit by me and not choose her seat.  This is a big deal for her because she always wants to pick where she sits.  It is a control thing with her.  During the meal, I had to go to the restroom, so she had to go with me.  We survived and did okay.  I think it made an impression on her. 

I was excited because I contained my emotions even though I couldn't believe what she was trying to do at the pet store.  I may be using this form of discipline more with her because it worked well for both of us. 

I guess I have finished with Day 1.  It may not have been perfect, but I prayed a lot for guidance and understanding towards my girls.  I think I did much better than the day before.  It is like I tell my children, I tried hard and improved.  Tomorrow is a new day.

How is everyone else doing?

However, homeschooling makes this a very interesting challenge.  We were out of town most of the day today.  I am anxious to see what tomorrow hold for all of us.

The Challenge

Angela, at Pearls of Price, mentioned a challenge she is taking.  You can read about it here.  It is fourteen days long.  You only speak positive or neutral things to others.  I didn't realize how difficult this was going to be.  I have really been struggling with my thoughts and actions.  I didn't realize how negative we had gotten around here.  I didn't realize how much correction goes on by all seven of us toward each other.  It isn't  very pleasant when you step back and look at it.  It robs the Joy of the Lord that we want in our house.  I know I can only accomplish this with God.  I have been wrestling in my heart today, while at church and afterwards regarding my words, as well as my thoughts.  I have bit my tongue many times.  I have tried to change my responses at the last minute.  I often have the facial expression, but no words come out of my mouth.  I have used this challenge as a time of self evaluation and reflection. We need to love as Jesus loves us. Our tone of voice and our words are not always in a loving manner as Jesus would speak to us.


I am praying that God can help me with this challenge.  I know that I will not accomplish this goal on my own.  I will definitely have to press in more with God to accomplish this goal. 

My girls have not had the best start in life, but that isn't their fault.  They don't know the things my birth children do because they haven't been taught.  Once again, this isn't their fault.  They are precious girls and have learned so much.  I get very frustrated sometimes, but love them dearly.  Already today, I have caught myself getting frustrated over really trivial things.  They are kids and they are still learning.  I should not be frustrated.  This challenge has made me stop mid step and change my responses.  As Angela said in her post, these poor kids get blamed for so many things.  They get corrected so often, by so many people.  I am proud of how they have endured so much criticism.  It really needs to stop.  They have been in our family for a year and a half.  This Friday the adoption will have been final for one year.  (Wow, how time goes by quickly.)

God is really doing a work in me through this challenge.

Quite a few of my blog friends of abused and neglected children are also taking the challenge.  I hope by having other friends working towards the same goal will help me to not give up.  We can be accountable to one another.  This can be such a positive thing for my family as well as many others.

Thanks Angela for the challenge!!

Old Habits Surface Again

Alex has a friend over tonight that lives out of town.  They have been friends since they were babies.  He came down to spend the night tonight.  Well, the kids were playing outside.  I walk out and Haylee has reverted to baby talk and Hannah is flirting telling the friend that she can't believe he is only 12 because he looks much older.  Ugh...

Needless to say, they are watching a movie now and the girls are on one side of the couch and the boys are on the other.  Morgan is the barrier between the twins and the other boys. 

I guess when they try to impress the new person they get uncomfortable and revert back to their old ways.

Well Angela, I blew it already!!!

Happy Birthday!!

Haylee and Hannah are ten years old today.  They have been a part of our family for 1 year and 6 months.  We are so blessed that they are a part of our family!  They have grown so much in so many ways since they have been home. 

We love you, Haylee and Hannah and are very proud to call you our daughters!!

Sick

Hannah hasn't been sick very much since coming to our home about 19 months ago.  She had a ruptured ear drum one time.  She didn't complain until right before it ruptured.  Well, Friday she started saying her throat hurt a little.  She had fever all day Saturday and Sunday.  It got up to about 102.5.  She rarely complained and said her throat was getting better.  I told her if she needed me during the night, she could come get me.  She was really confused.  She kept asking questions.  I told her if she was hurting or feeling really bad, she could come get me.  I told her she could have more medicine about 2:30am. She asked if she should come get me at 2:30.  Bless her heart.  I don't think she has had anyone to care for her during the night.  I wonder if she cried out when she was little and was ignored or got in trouble.  It breaks my heart. 

I took her to the doctor today and she has strep throat and a bad ear infection.  The doctor was concerned because she said her ear doesn't hurt.  He said I need to watch her in the future because of her high tolerance for pain.  If Tucker, Alex or Morgan had a high fever, they would be on the couch wrapped up in a blanket.  She did school today.  She hasn't acted sick.  I gave her some more medicine for her fever this afternoon and she really didn't want to take it.  She acted afraid to take it.  I reminded her that if she needs medicine and takes it as prescribed, it is okay. 

I hope she gets better soon.  I also hope no one else gets sick.

10th Birthday

We celebrated the girls birthday last Friday.  They had about 10 friend join them at Chuck*E*Cheese.   The seemed to have a really good time.  He danced with them and gave each of them a birthday medal.  They are turning ten, which would normally be too old for this party, but they loved it.  I am sure they have not had something like this in the past.  Unlike last year, they invited people that they are friends with. 

Morgan's best friend went with us for the day.  She goes to church with us, so the twins wanted to invite her.  She and Morgan always have a fun time together.

 My husband and I with the birthday girls.

 After the pizza party, the party moved to the skating rink to celebrate the birthday of a girl at our birthday party.  Everyone continued to have a great time skating and just being together. 

Tucker was a good big brother and pushed all of the younger kids around on these little rolling carts.  A fun time was had by all.

The girls actually turn ten Wednesday.  We have something planned for that day, but Alex will enjoy it the most and his birthday is October 18th.  It happened to be the day it was available. 

They are doing pretty well dealing with their birthday.  A few old habits have slipped back in and a little testing is going on, but overall I can't complain.

I am very proud to call them my daughters.  I am so thankful God has blessed us with them!!