Yesterday, Morgan turned ten years old!! I can't believe that she is already ten. I thought she would be my last child. I never dreamed I would have two more girls birthed from the heart! What a blessing!
Morgan is having some girls spend the night tonight. We are not allowing Haylee and Hannah to sleep with the rest of the girls. We have had problems with them when a guest is spending the night in their room. Hannah tends to smother them and tell things she has no business telling anyone. Haylee does okay, but we decided they would sleep on blow up beds in our bedroom. This is a treat for them because they have never slept in our room. Morgan slept on a mattress in our room when she was sick recently and would spike fever during the night.
Well, one friend came early to play today. Both girls have been in trouble all ready. The friend hasn't even been here two hours yet. Ugh!!! It may be a long night!!
They do not do well when someone else is the center of attention. We started celebrating Morgan's birthday Thursday and will end tomorrow morning when the guests leave. They have both been told that if they continue to make poor choices they will be separated earlier tonight.
I hope it all goes okay tonight. I will let you know...
Friday, January 28, 2011
Very Busy Lately
I haven't posted in so long!! I have posts in my head all of the time, but finding the time to sit down and record them is the problem.
Things are moving right along. I can't believe the girls have been with us almost ten months. They have changed so much during this time.
A few updates...
Haylee's meds are working well. Her school is completed timely and very well. She has a hard time in the late afternoon with her attitude. She is really struggling with pouting when she is corrected or has been in trouble. We have started telling her to go to her room and find her happy heart or go get in the bed. It is her choice. Haylee even read her grammar lesson before I was ready to teach it this week and completed the exercises perfectly. I was thrilled!
Hannah is struggling in school. I purchased some dividers to remove the temptation of cheating. It is now taking her forever to complete her work. I retaught her rounding for the sixth time this week. I thought the magic number was three times, but not anymore. I wondered if she was looking at Haylee's work more than I realized, but for so long she was finished before Haylee. Haylee loves the dividers. I believe it has relieved the stress from both of them. Hannah doesn't like the dividers, but I really don't care. I think she realizes she is having to think totally for herself and that is sometimes difficult for her.
Four of my children got new glasses this week. Thank goodness Haylee and Hannah have state insurance as secondary insurance. Glasses are very expensive. They have a different selection of glasses to choose from and they aren't the same quality as the glasses I had to buy for Alex and Morgan. However, the state insurance will replace the glasses if they break.
I have heard about people being treated differently with state insurance, but hadn't experienced it until I took Haylee and Hannah to the eye doctor. The doctor and his wife knew our situation and were very nice. However, the front office person and the lady that tested their vision treated me like an idiot. I guess they forgot I had already had two children in the office in the last two weeks that I had to pay out of pocket for and did. The lady at the desk didn't give me the new paper to fill out. She sat behind the counter and asked me questions and wrote it down. She wasn't very friendly. It would have been much easier if I could have done it myself. The lady that tested their vision wasn't much better. She treated me like I had no idea what we were doing and that they didn't either. I was having to bite my tongue. Before we went, I explained to the wife of the doctor, she runs the office, our situation. I took the girls separate so they would never know that they didn't go to the same room to pick out their glasses. Haylee has very poor vision. The doctor told me that we would try to use the state insurance, but they may want her glasses to look like coke bottle glasses. They are thick, but are okay. When she gets older, we may have to do something different.
I am debating about whether to call the wife and let her know we were treated differently than when I had my other children in the office. It is really sad how people are treated differently for insurance reasons.
Things are moving right along. I can't believe the girls have been with us almost ten months. They have changed so much during this time.
A few updates...
Haylee's meds are working well. Her school is completed timely and very well. She has a hard time in the late afternoon with her attitude. She is really struggling with pouting when she is corrected or has been in trouble. We have started telling her to go to her room and find her happy heart or go get in the bed. It is her choice. Haylee even read her grammar lesson before I was ready to teach it this week and completed the exercises perfectly. I was thrilled!
Hannah is struggling in school. I purchased some dividers to remove the temptation of cheating. It is now taking her forever to complete her work. I retaught her rounding for the sixth time this week. I thought the magic number was three times, but not anymore. I wondered if she was looking at Haylee's work more than I realized, but for so long she was finished before Haylee. Haylee loves the dividers. I believe it has relieved the stress from both of them. Hannah doesn't like the dividers, but I really don't care. I think she realizes she is having to think totally for herself and that is sometimes difficult for her.
Four of my children got new glasses this week. Thank goodness Haylee and Hannah have state insurance as secondary insurance. Glasses are very expensive. They have a different selection of glasses to choose from and they aren't the same quality as the glasses I had to buy for Alex and Morgan. However, the state insurance will replace the glasses if they break.
I have heard about people being treated differently with state insurance, but hadn't experienced it until I took Haylee and Hannah to the eye doctor. The doctor and his wife knew our situation and were very nice. However, the front office person and the lady that tested their vision treated me like an idiot. I guess they forgot I had already had two children in the office in the last two weeks that I had to pay out of pocket for and did. The lady at the desk didn't give me the new paper to fill out. She sat behind the counter and asked me questions and wrote it down. She wasn't very friendly. It would have been much easier if I could have done it myself. The lady that tested their vision wasn't much better. She treated me like I had no idea what we were doing and that they didn't either. I was having to bite my tongue. Before we went, I explained to the wife of the doctor, she runs the office, our situation. I took the girls separate so they would never know that they didn't go to the same room to pick out their glasses. Haylee has very poor vision. The doctor told me that we would try to use the state insurance, but they may want her glasses to look like coke bottle glasses. They are thick, but are okay. When she gets older, we may have to do something different.
I am debating about whether to call the wife and let her know we were treated differently than when I had my other children in the office. It is really sad how people are treated differently for insurance reasons.
Monday, January 17, 2011
We are still here...
Things have been busy around here. Tucker, Alex and Morgan participated in a swim meet in Auburn this weekend and did well. It began Friday night and ended about 4 pm Sunday. It was a looooonnnggg weekend. Haylee and Hannah did very well. They had to sit a bunch and watch and wait and watch and wait. We had to travel back in forth each day so that meant about 3 hours in the car each day after sitting forever. Everyone survived and all and all it was a good weekend.
All three children made best times. We have a new coach that we love!! They are enjoying swim team again. She is very encouraging to all of the children.
Alex qualified for the third year in a row to swim at the Southeastern Championship Meet in Nashville at the end of February. He is very excited. He made five qualifying times out of the seven events he competed in this weekend. He is very, very close in the other two events. He is a very strong competitor and athlete and it shows in the pool.
We praised the tw*ins on the way home yesterday about how well they behaved all weekend. Immediately after we finished, I thought, oh no, I hope we haven't jinxed ourselves. Well, Hannah didn't have a great night after we got home. We knew she was tired and tried to be gentle. However, she added extra drama to her situation and therefore we were less sympathetic. The good news...she didn't lie when I asked her if she was adding the drama to get more attention. She said she did. So, she was sent on to bed a few minutes before Haylee. Morgan had already gone to bed because she was exhausted from the weekend.
The girls are doing better everyday. They have vision checkups next week. I have no clue what is wrong with their vision. They both came with glasses, so I am curious to see our doctor.
Can any blog friends tell me how to make tabs on a blog page? Also, where do you get the cute designs? The choices I have aren't that cute. Thanks!
All three children made best times. We have a new coach that we love!! They are enjoying swim team again. She is very encouraging to all of the children.
Alex qualified for the third year in a row to swim at the Southeastern Championship Meet in Nashville at the end of February. He is very excited. He made five qualifying times out of the seven events he competed in this weekend. He is very, very close in the other two events. He is a very strong competitor and athlete and it shows in the pool.
We praised the tw*ins on the way home yesterday about how well they behaved all weekend. Immediately after we finished, I thought, oh no, I hope we haven't jinxed ourselves. Well, Hannah didn't have a great night after we got home. We knew she was tired and tried to be gentle. However, she added extra drama to her situation and therefore we were less sympathetic. The good news...she didn't lie when I asked her if she was adding the drama to get more attention. She said she did. So, she was sent on to bed a few minutes before Haylee. Morgan had already gone to bed because she was exhausted from the weekend.
The girls are doing better everyday. They have vision checkups next week. I have no clue what is wrong with their vision. They both came with glasses, so I am curious to see our doctor.
Can any blog friends tell me how to make tabs on a blog page? Also, where do you get the cute designs? The choices I have aren't that cute. Thanks!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Words of Wisdom
My Mother-in-law sent me an email this morning with a quote from a book she just finished reading. The book is called, The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven. (I can't figure out how to underline the title. Sorry.)
The son in the book has just been in a horrible car accident and no one thinks he will live. An EMP spoke the following to his mother.:
"You're going to go in the trauma room and your're going to hear some horrible things. In fact, they're going to tell you your son's going to die. But I laid hands on your son and prayed for him in the name of Jesus. I'm telling you, he's not going to die. Now you definitely have a part to play in all this. The Lord is already beginning the healing, but when you go in there, fear will try to attack your thinking. I'm not telling you to go in there and argue. Be polite and listen; they know what they're talking about. But as true as all their information is, God's Word can change all that. But if you go in there and agree with what they're saying and start speaking that, he will die. You'll negate what's been started by my praying for him. But if every time you get scared or hear a bad report, you thank the Lord for His healing, He will do His part."
She followed the quote with this statement to me, "I thought that was wonderful truth that can be applied to Hannah and Haylee. Yes, some things are "true" but they are not God's truth. We can either agree with the Word or agree with man's wisdom... the outcome will be vastly different."
Once again, I know this, but I need to be reminded of these truths when I am in the trench.
I am so glad God is in control of me and my family and NOT me!!!
The son in the book has just been in a horrible car accident and no one thinks he will live. An EMP spoke the following to his mother.:
"You're going to go in the trauma room and your're going to hear some horrible things. In fact, they're going to tell you your son's going to die. But I laid hands on your son and prayed for him in the name of Jesus. I'm telling you, he's not going to die. Now you definitely have a part to play in all this. The Lord is already beginning the healing, but when you go in there, fear will try to attack your thinking. I'm not telling you to go in there and argue. Be polite and listen; they know what they're talking about. But as true as all their information is, God's Word can change all that. But if you go in there and agree with what they're saying and start speaking that, he will die. You'll negate what's been started by my praying for him. But if every time you get scared or hear a bad report, you thank the Lord for His healing, He will do His part."
She followed the quote with this statement to me, "I thought that was wonderful truth that can be applied to Hannah and Haylee. Yes, some things are "true" but they are not God's truth. We can either agree with the Word or agree with man's wisdom... the outcome will be vastly different."
Once again, I know this, but I need to be reminded of these truths when I am in the trench.
I am so glad God is in control of me and my family and NOT me!!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Better Day
Today has been a better day...
I have been saying repeatedly in my head...
"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13
and
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you." Jeremiah 4:13
Also, if I could tell Hannah was struggling with something I was teaching, I would stop and reteach it a different way. I didn't give her any opportunities to lie today. If I felt like an opportunity for a lie existed, I would answer the question for her or change the question so it would be very difficult to lie.
Haylee is taking forever to finish her school work again. I don't know what to do. I set a timer and it just beeps and she has not moved any faster. The plus is, she does it very well, so it is hard to complain.
Due to the weather, all of our afternoon activities have cancelled. I am happy about this because it will give everyone time to finish their school work and get ready to watch the National Championship game tonight. Alex is a HUGE Auburn fan. He is counting the hours until the game.
I have been saying repeatedly in my head...
"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13
and
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you." Jeremiah 4:13
Also, if I could tell Hannah was struggling with something I was teaching, I would stop and reteach it a different way. I didn't give her any opportunities to lie today. If I felt like an opportunity for a lie existed, I would answer the question for her or change the question so it would be very difficult to lie.
Haylee is taking forever to finish her school work again. I don't know what to do. I set a timer and it just beeps and she has not moved any faster. The plus is, she does it very well, so it is hard to complain.
Due to the weather, all of our afternoon activities have cancelled. I am happy about this because it will give everyone time to finish their school work and get ready to watch the National Championship game tonight. Alex is a HUGE Auburn fan. He is counting the hours until the game.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Encouragement while in the trench
I have really been fighting discouragement this past week. It has not been a very good week. I feel like I have been in a trench, with little hope of getting out. I have been tired and frustrated.
I am tired of feeling like the wicked witch all of the time. It seems like I am always correcting someone or asking someone to do something or stop doing something, etc. I am struggling to balance all of the hats I wear in my life. I don't know which one to take off and discard.
Our pastor asked anyone that is discouraged about anything to come down for prayer. I knew I needed too and did. The sweet friends that prayed for me reminded me of a few things.
One lady reminded me that I like to be in control of everything. She reminded me that as I have said many times, I can't live my life right now without going to God first. He can handle these things. Nothing surprises Him. I have to turn it over to Him each and every day. I have always been able to handle things on my own. Not anymore, I need Him more than ever. I know that, but is was refreshing to have this sweet lady share that with me again.
She also said that we aren't to worry about tomorrow, only focus on today. Lately, I have spent way too much energy worrying about the future of our family and the girls most of all. I worry about all three girls and I shouldn't. I need to turn it over to the Lord more than ever.
Another lady reminded me that the girls are "fearfully and wonderfully made". He knows everything about them, past, present, and future. God gave me this scripture for our adoption prior to the placement. He knew they would be in our family. He has their future in His hands. It was refreshing to be reminded of this again.
Another friend reminded me that I have faith to walk this walk with God. He called us to adoption and these girls and He will not leave us or forsake us.
A friend also reminded me that only God can help me love these girls as I love my other three children. Don't miss understand me, I love Haylee and Hannah, but it is different. I am very protective of them as I am with my other children. I didn't realize how much I was struggling with this issue until she starting praying for God to help me love them completely. I know I will probably recieve negative comments because I have said this, but I realized today, it is true. I believe I have been holding guilt inside about this issue. God can enable me to love them just as they are my birth children, but only He can do this.
I am very thankful these ladies obeyed and prayed for me today!!
Our message was about hope. We know that suffering produces perseverance, which leads to character, and character, hope.
Our pastor read in Romans 5:
I am tired of feeling like the wicked witch all of the time. It seems like I am always correcting someone or asking someone to do something or stop doing something, etc. I am struggling to balance all of the hats I wear in my life. I don't know which one to take off and discard.
Our pastor asked anyone that is discouraged about anything to come down for prayer. I knew I needed too and did. The sweet friends that prayed for me reminded me of a few things.
One lady reminded me that I like to be in control of everything. She reminded me that as I have said many times, I can't live my life right now without going to God first. He can handle these things. Nothing surprises Him. I have to turn it over to Him each and every day. I have always been able to handle things on my own. Not anymore, I need Him more than ever. I know that, but is was refreshing to have this sweet lady share that with me again.
She also said that we aren't to worry about tomorrow, only focus on today. Lately, I have spent way too much energy worrying about the future of our family and the girls most of all. I worry about all three girls and I shouldn't. I need to turn it over to the Lord more than ever.
Another lady reminded me that the girls are "fearfully and wonderfully made". He knows everything about them, past, present, and future. God gave me this scripture for our adoption prior to the placement. He knew they would be in our family. He has their future in His hands. It was refreshing to be reminded of this again.
Another friend reminded me that I have faith to walk this walk with God. He called us to adoption and these girls and He will not leave us or forsake us.
A friend also reminded me that only God can help me love these girls as I love my other three children. Don't miss understand me, I love Haylee and Hannah, but it is different. I am very protective of them as I am with my other children. I didn't realize how much I was struggling with this issue until she starting praying for God to help me love them completely. I know I will probably recieve negative comments because I have said this, but I realized today, it is true. I believe I have been holding guilt inside about this issue. God can enable me to love them just as they are my birth children, but only He can do this.
I am very thankful these ladies obeyed and prayed for me today!!
Our message was about hope. We know that suffering produces perseverance, which leads to character, and character, hope.
Our pastor read in Romans 5:
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
None of what I heard today was new too me. However, when I am stuck in the trench or the "spin cycle" as I sometimes call it, I needed it to be spoken to me from my trustworthy church body. It was refreshing to hear.
A few of my blog friends are also struggling with their adopted children now. Angela and Kelly, I will continue to pray for you as I deal with the issues in my house. Each time I cry out, I will cry out for you also. God has called us to this journey and he has equiped us with everything we need as we need it!! Hang in there girls!!!
Friday, January 7, 2011
How?
How do you teach a child that gets mad and tells you they know how in a "not so nice" way?
I had made the decision to be a lot more patient with the girls during school. I told myself if I had to teach something three, six, or twenty times, I would. I wouldn't just help with the problem at hand, but would start from the ground up again.
Today, I was helping Hannah with a problem. She had done it incorrectly and was trying to redo it. She asked for help. I asked her some questions and figured out quickly I needed to start over on the topic, so I did. No big deal. I started over. I would say something, then ask her a question about what I just said. She wouldn't answer my questions, but "no so nicely" said, "I know how to do it, I know Mom." Anyway she was not happy with me and I just left the room to stay calm. I believe that by the questions I was asking and she was answering she figured out the answer to the one problem. (We were drawing line segments using cm and mm.) She wanted to finish the work and didn't really care if she learned the concept. I let her finish. When she finish her school work, I gave her five segments to draw using mm and cm. Well guess what...she missed them. I was correct, she didn't understand. So, I taught the lesson for the fifth time. Maybe she got it this time. When I told my husband, he said, "disobediance, respect..." He named the rules she broke. I didn't push the issue...
I had made the decision to be a lot more patient with the girls during school. I told myself if I had to teach something three, six, or twenty times, I would. I wouldn't just help with the problem at hand, but would start from the ground up again.
Today, I was helping Hannah with a problem. She had done it incorrectly and was trying to redo it. She asked for help. I asked her some questions and figured out quickly I needed to start over on the topic, so I did. No big deal. I started over. I would say something, then ask her a question about what I just said. She wouldn't answer my questions, but "no so nicely" said, "I know how to do it, I know Mom." Anyway she was not happy with me and I just left the room to stay calm. I believe that by the questions I was asking and she was answering she figured out the answer to the one problem. (We were drawing line segments using cm and mm.) She wanted to finish the work and didn't really care if she learned the concept. I let her finish. When she finish her school work, I gave her five segments to draw using mm and cm. Well guess what...she missed them. I was correct, she didn't understand. So, I taught the lesson for the fifth time. Maybe she got it this time. When I told my husband, he said, "disobediance, respect..." He named the rules she broke. I didn't push the issue...
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Changes...
I have been thinking about a lot of things the way our week has been going.
What things should I change and what things should I leave the same?
How could I handle the situations better so she isn't tempted to lie?
How do we handle things when she can't handle that the attention isn't on her all the time?
They are a part of this family and every one gets attention at different times. The adoption is final and they are the same as any other child in this family.
We have been working on Haylee's baby talk and Hannah started talking like a baby. Ugh!!
How do you handle a child that wants what they want when they want it, no matter what? She does whatever it takes to get her way or what she wants, without considering the effect on anyone else.
She is staring more and more at my husband and I. Is she trying to figure out how a Mommy and Daddy act? What is the deal? I seem to be catching her staring more and more in public. The other kids usually notice it before me and tell her to stop.
I feel like I am having to be on my toes all of the time again. I feel like we have backed way up again in the trust department.
This is exhausting...
What things should I change and what things should I leave the same?
How could I handle the situations better so she isn't tempted to lie?
How do we handle things when she can't handle that the attention isn't on her all the time?
They are a part of this family and every one gets attention at different times. The adoption is final and they are the same as any other child in this family.
We have been working on Haylee's baby talk and Hannah started talking like a baby. Ugh!!
How do you handle a child that wants what they want when they want it, no matter what? She does whatever it takes to get her way or what she wants, without considering the effect on anyone else.
She is staring more and more at my husband and I. Is she trying to figure out how a Mommy and Daddy act? What is the deal? I seem to be catching her staring more and more in public. The other kids usually notice it before me and tell her to stop.
I feel like I am having to be on my toes all of the time again. I feel like we have backed way up again in the trust department.
This is exhausting...
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Cheating and Lying
I praised how well the girls were doing, then we take steps backward. Well, this hasn't been a good week for Hannah. I can ask her a question which I know the answer to and she will flat out not tell me the truth.
Yesterday, it was about a grade on a test. I already knew the grade. Today I caught her cheating. I saw her and she denied doing it. So now, we have to deal with cheating and lying. None of which is tolerated at all in this house, by anyone!! Ugh!!! The punishment was the same today as yesterday, plus a bunch more!! She is writing lots and lots of scripture today. She is also not allowed to play at all. Her free time will be sent sitting by herself at the dining room table. She chose to pout at lunch and not eat. The timer was set for ten more minutes and then she was finished. She did eat enough for her to be okay until dinner.
It is so hard not be plain mad and frustrated. The issue is getting worse and not better. God gives us grace, and we also do to our children. It is still so difficult some days. I am over being frustrated. I am so sad for her. However, she made her choices and she must take the consequences.
Do you have any suggestions for any other scripture? Below are the scripture she is writing:
Stealing the answers -
Yesterday, it was about a grade on a test. I already knew the grade. Today I caught her cheating. I saw her and she denied doing it. So now, we have to deal with cheating and lying. None of which is tolerated at all in this house, by anyone!! Ugh!!! The punishment was the same today as yesterday, plus a bunch more!! She is writing lots and lots of scripture today. She is also not allowed to play at all. Her free time will be sent sitting by herself at the dining room table. She chose to pout at lunch and not eat. The timer was set for ten more minutes and then she was finished. She did eat enough for her to be okay until dinner.
It is so hard not be plain mad and frustrated. The issue is getting worse and not better. God gives us grace, and we also do to our children. It is still so difficult some days. I am over being frustrated. I am so sad for her. However, she made her choices and she must take the consequences.
Do you have any suggestions for any other scripture? Below are the scripture she is writing:
Stealing the answers -
Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labor,
working with his hands the thing which is good.
Ephesians 4:28
Lying-
Lying lips are abomination to the Lord:
but they that deal truly are his delight.
Proverbs 12:22
Disobedience-
Children, obey your parents in the Lord:
for this is right.
Ephesians 6:1
I also reminded her that we once again have a trust issue. Both times, she wouldn't have been in trouble. For the bad grade, she would redo the lesson and quiz again, which she did. Morgan also had to redo hers. No big deal. This is the beauty of homeschooling. If they don't do well, they do it again.
Today I was teaching her and she just plain didn't want to think. She wanted me to be finished. She wanted to finished with school so she could play. Well, that won't happen today.
We are really working on the baby talk and it is getting much better. Yeah!!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Camp
We have decided to let Morgan go to camp this summer with a friend for 12 days. What will I do?? I won't be able to tuck her in for 11 nights?? I will miss her so much!! She is going with a sweet friend that we have known for years. She is thrilled!! She has wanted to go for two years now. It has always interfered with our annual beach trip that is scheduled around my husbands annual professional meeting. This year it also conflicted with her dance recital. She has continued to pray for a way for it to happen. I just knew it wouldn't.
But God...
He has moved the mountains for Morgan!!
The dance recital was moved one week earlier and the beach meeting has been moved a week later. After much prayer and consideration, we have decided to let her attend. It is not cheap at all, but we feel she derserves this time away without her sisters.
We asked her what she was willing to help pay to go and she said all of her savings. Well, we aren't going to make her do that, but this will be her birthday present which is at the end of the month. She was thrilled!! I had already purchased her a camera, which is all she wanted. My parents will give her that for her birthday.
My husband and I have been trying to figure out what we could do special to honor her because she has learned to share almost EVERYTHING in the last nine months. She has never expected anything in return. We are so proud of her! This adoption has been the hardest on her. She has overcome!! We still have very difficult days, but she is doing well.
The problem...
How do we handle this with the other girls? They are going to want to go next year. One problem...the cost. Also, I don't know that they will be able to go away that long without me for a long time. How do I explain that to them? Suggestions?
Is it bad that we are letting her go and they may never get to go?
This will be a good time for them to learn to play without Morgan. When she isn't around now, they don't know what to do.
I feel like we are doing the right thing, but I do worry about the other girls. I can't make Morgan miss out because they may never be able to attend alone, can I ?
But God...
He has moved the mountains for Morgan!!
The dance recital was moved one week earlier and the beach meeting has been moved a week later. After much prayer and consideration, we have decided to let her attend. It is not cheap at all, but we feel she derserves this time away without her sisters.
We asked her what she was willing to help pay to go and she said all of her savings. Well, we aren't going to make her do that, but this will be her birthday present which is at the end of the month. She was thrilled!! I had already purchased her a camera, which is all she wanted. My parents will give her that for her birthday.
My husband and I have been trying to figure out what we could do special to honor her because she has learned to share almost EVERYTHING in the last nine months. She has never expected anything in return. We are so proud of her! This adoption has been the hardest on her. She has overcome!! We still have very difficult days, but she is doing well.
The problem...
How do we handle this with the other girls? They are going to want to go next year. One problem...the cost. Also, I don't know that they will be able to go away that long without me for a long time. How do I explain that to them? Suggestions?
Is it bad that we are letting her go and they may never get to go?
This will be a good time for them to learn to play without Morgan. When she isn't around now, they don't know what to do.
I feel like we are doing the right thing, but I do worry about the other girls. I can't make Morgan miss out because they may never be able to attend alone, can I ?
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Meds
Haylee has been off of her ADHD meds for three days. We stopped giving them because we were going to bed later and so she was getting up later. (Yeah!!) She really struggles going to sleep at night, so we didn't want to give it to her too late in the day. She has done pretty well. We can function with her not medicated. She will not take medication during the summer, I don't believe. She has been much louder and has also been in trouble for not paying attention more, of course. The positives are that her total joyful personality is back. She ate at a normal pace and ate much more food. We discussed whether to give it to her tomorrow for school or not. We decided to go ahead and give it to her the rest of the school year. It is such a difficult decision.
An issue driving us nuts is her baby talk. We always thought it was a habit. She can speak correctly. She will say something and we will ask her to repeat it and she says it much better. We discussed it with her and she says she know when she is doing it. It is like nails going down a chalkboard. I realize all of the changes they have been through can cause this, but after nine months? Hannah spoke this way when she first came and she very rarely does it now. Any suggestions??
An issue driving us nuts is her baby talk. We always thought it was a habit. She can speak correctly. She will say something and we will ask her to repeat it and she says it much better. We discussed it with her and she says she know when she is doing it. It is like nails going down a chalkboard. I realize all of the changes they have been through can cause this, but after nine months? Hannah spoke this way when she first came and she very rarely does it now. Any suggestions??
Saturday, January 1, 2011
What??
We have had a great weekend. I almost let this testing episode slip past me. I usually catch things like this quickly, but this I didn't. After our New Year's lunch, Hannah asked if she could watch a movie in my room and lay in my bed. They had all watched a movie earlier in the day in my room. I told her no because she needed to play some and not watch TV all day. (They get to watch a lot more than normal over the holiday break.) I explained why and she went on her way. Later, I couldn't find her. I found her in my bed. (The kids usually are not to be in my room for any length of time without permission. They just have no need to be in there.) I asked her what she was doing in my bed and she said she was watching a movie on her Ipod. I told her she didn't need to be in there. She left the room and went to her room. I realized a few minutes later that she was doing exactly what she had asked and I had told her no. Ugh!! I talked with my husband about it and we both agreed it needed to be addressed. I don't know if it was on purpose or not. Either way, she was disobediant. She must take responsibility for her choices. Her problem is that if she wants to do something, she will often do it no matter what the consequences. My husband and I talked with her about what happened. I asked questions and she answered without lying. Yeah!!! She hestitated more when she started realizing she was in trouble. The positive is she figured out what happened without me telling her. She told us she was disobediant and she told us the punishment. She was crying before she finished. I believe she was repentent. It was very difficult for either of us to discipline her for this, but we must. We can't let the boundaries loose, because she will push more and more. She isn't secure enough for the boundaries to be extended.
It grieved us to have to punish her today. Eventhough it was negative, so many positives were also seen. I am so proud of how far she has come. I pray that one day she will be totally secure in our family!! I know if will take a long time. We are starting to trust her more and more, which is so nice. My husband and I talk often about how far she has come.
It grieved us to have to punish her today. Eventhough it was negative, so many positives were also seen. I am so proud of how far she has come. I pray that one day she will be totally secure in our family!! I know if will take a long time. We are starting to trust her more and more, which is so nice. My husband and I talk often about how far she has come.
Almost Nine Months
Haylee and Hannah have been with us almost nine months now. Wow, at the changes we have seen!! They have grown so much physically and mentally. They still struggle in many ways and we struggle daily with how to parent them. We mess up sometimes, just as they do.
It was in the 60's and sunny here yesterday, so we went to the Rails to Trails in our town. It is a five mile paved walk through the woods, by the lake, over the old railroad trussel, by the schools and to the park. The kids all rode their scooters and my husband and I road our bicycles. I was amazed thinking about the first time we took the girls to the Rails to Trails. The first time we went, Hannah was terrified because next to the paved walk was a slope, then a retaining wall and then the lake. We had to encourage her to walk/ride past. She didn't want to go over the bridge either. She was afraid of the smallest incline. Well, this time she had no fear!!! She went flying on her scooter by the lake and didn't appear to even think about the lake. She went over the bridge with no hesitation. I was so proud of her!! We went about three miles on this journey. They did great!! We had such a pleasant time. We finished there and picked up lunch and went to the playgroud for a picnic. It was a great way to end our year!!
They have come so far, but we continue to help mold them in to all God has planned for them.
2010 brought many changes in our family. We added a puppy and then two precious girls. We are thankful to God for our many blessings in 2010!!
Thanks to all of my readers that continue to encourage us on our journey of adoption!!
It was in the 60's and sunny here yesterday, so we went to the Rails to Trails in our town. It is a five mile paved walk through the woods, by the lake, over the old railroad trussel, by the schools and to the park. The kids all rode their scooters and my husband and I road our bicycles. I was amazed thinking about the first time we took the girls to the Rails to Trails. The first time we went, Hannah was terrified because next to the paved walk was a slope, then a retaining wall and then the lake. We had to encourage her to walk/ride past. She didn't want to go over the bridge either. She was afraid of the smallest incline. Well, this time she had no fear!!! She went flying on her scooter by the lake and didn't appear to even think about the lake. She went over the bridge with no hesitation. I was so proud of her!! We went about three miles on this journey. They did great!! We had such a pleasant time. We finished there and picked up lunch and went to the playgroud for a picnic. It was a great way to end our year!!
They have come so far, but we continue to help mold them in to all God has planned for them.
2010 brought many changes in our family. We added a puppy and then two precious girls. We are thankful to God for our many blessings in 2010!!
Thanks to all of my readers that continue to encourage us on our journey of adoption!!
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