I believe Hannah is doing whatever to get approval. She is getting herself in trouble multiple times a day due to this. I have prayed about what is going on and I feel like approval and acceptance is the root issue. She is hurting the feelings of others, acting like she is clueless when she isn't and driving me crazy with staring at me and making her fake face. I am really struggling with her right now. I am having to fight the feeling of wanting to avoid her. When she first came I had to make myself love on her. It got easier. Right now it is hard again. I hate feeling this way. I know it isn't right. I do love them and wouldn't trade them for anything. She even stares at me for approval when she says prayers at night. I have suspected and on occasion I have peeked and caught her staring at me. Tonight I stopped the prayers and reminded her that she is praying to God and she doesn't need my approval about what she is saying.
I took the girls to a Community Thanksgiving Service tonight at another church. A sweet friend of ours was telling the story of Esther from Esther's point of view. It was great and the girls said they enjoyed it also. However, one lady on the praise team looked like their birth mom. Not as thin in the face, but VERY similar. Hannah noticed it very quickly when the lady went on stage. Ugh! I wonder what issues this will cause tonight or tomorrow. I pray none.
I feel your pain! I'm dealing with the same issue with my younger adopted daughter. It takes all of my strength not to be catty to her when she's attention/approval seeking. I've found myself letting her watch DVDs in her room just so I get a break from being around her. God has definitely been getting an earful from me lately. :-)
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog via "pearls of price." We too deal with this nearly every day with two of our children.
ReplyDeleteKeep taking them back to the scriptures!
Blessings from the North,
S
i wore a bracelet that had the "love is patient, love is kind, love is slow to anger" verse on it for 2 years to remind myself that i can love them without feeling like i love them.
ReplyDeleteyou ARE loving her when you make her breakfast, wash her clothes, tuck her in, all the little things you do. that does NOT mean you aren't annoyed (as i type this i have one of mine forcing himself to cry for attention, by the way). sometimes their behavior is MORE than annoying and irritating.
hang in there!
I have spent the last couple of hours reading most of your blog, from the beginning. Your daughters have so many similarities to one of my daughters. She is now 17. I have raised her since she was 2. There were so many times reading that I said "Oh, wow! That's Michelle". Michelle is developmentally delayed, for reasons we don't know. She has many symptoms that mimic FASD, and although we don't think that her mom drank during pregnancy, we do think she smoked pot. Apparently they can mimic each other in symptoms. I don't remember which post it was, but you said something about your daughter being outside on a 90 degree day in cold weather clothes, or wearing shorts and a tshirt on a cold day. My daughter EXACTLY. As time as gone on, I don't know if it's disobedience, attention or if her body is just wired incorrectly. It's such a struggle, but I can say, after 15 years (UGH!) things have improved greatly. She is a great kid. I had to learn to love her, it was different from my blood born kids.
ReplyDeleteHugs for your adventure. It's just beginning, but by God's grace, you will make it. It's the only thing that got me through.