What do you do when a child has broken the same rule each day for the last three days. She has been disciplined and written scriptures. She did it again tonight. Is something not connecting? Is it the cause and effect issues? It is not a big huge thing. It is a simple rule. We don't eat in the car without permission and especially not candy!! Don't get me wrong, we eat in the car all the time. However, sugary candy is limited at our house for many reasons. In fact, I may be too strict, but the kids all ask permission to get a snack. You may think I am nuts, but it is a rule we have always had. It may sound trivial, but if she can't follow the small rules, how will she follow the big ones?
On a positive note, my parents are going to keep all three girls for two nights. I am nervous about them going. I trust my parents completely, but the girls have never been away from me overnight. We have talked to them about going and they really want to go. I think since they will all be together, they will be okay. I will have two days without them. Believe it or not, this brings mixed emotions. I can "let my guard down" and relax some. I am sure I will stay very busy playing catch up around here. The boys are going on a field trip, so my husband and I are going Christmas shopping...with no kids!! We haven't been by ourselves much at all since the girls came to live with us. I hope the next few days go well for everyone.
It could be a lack of cause and effect issue or it could be an overwhelming need for sugar. Frequently, breaking the same rule over and over, is the child's way of telling you something. Just my best guesses. Good Luck :)
ReplyDeleteI often think of FASD like Alzheimers. If Grandma did the same thing what would you do? If it isn't a big deal, I would air on the side of building relationship instead of consequencing. Sometimes our fear drives us to try to "nip this in the bud" but with children who have FASD or trauma backgrounds that may only feed their fear.
ReplyDelete~Kari
I'm NOT an expert. Some may think I'm too harsh. But what if you made the consequence a HUGE one? Something that would seriously make her upset for losing. Maybe (just maybe) she'd understand and follow the rule.
ReplyDeleteWe recently had our son diagnosed with FASD. A few days ago we were playing outside. The rule is you can sit on the driveway, sidewalk or grass and play with his toys. He 97% of the time follows this rule. Monday he kept "forgetting" to not sit on the garage floor (which currently has a little oil spill that he purposely walks through and plays in). Finally I told him if he sat on the garage floor again, he'd be banned to the grass. It was an instant response. He never "forgot" again.
Good luck with your girl. I hope you're able to find something that will work for her and you.
Luke 17, "3"Be on your guard!If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. "And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' forgive him." The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" "
ReplyDeleteI feel like this so many times... "Lord increase my faith because if I have forgive him for this SAME offense one more time... " LOL!!!
Everything we need is in the Bible....
Have a GREAT weekend! Praying that He fills you up and you are refreshed!
Not sure if this would work or not but... my Delaney (I love typing that :) opened a piece of candy in the van one day, that I had told her she could hold but could not open or eat, and I immediately had her pass it up to me and I threw it out the window. She was devastated. All I have to do now is remind her of that. :)
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