Boundaries

I hope I am doing the right thing. Morgan is playing at a friend's house today. This girl has been her friend for years. They go to church together and they also homeschool. The younger girls weren't happy when they didn't get to go. Morgan has also been invited to go with another friend to see a movie out of town Wednesday. She is going to do both, WITHOUT the younger girls. The younger girls do not like this. I have tried to explain that they are younger than each of these girls. They will develop their own friendships with other girls. These girls are always very friendly to them. However, I believe Morgan needs time away from her sisters. She is sharing EVERYTHING now. I am having to reassure my friends that is okay to just invite Morgan. She is still Morgan and loves to do her own thing.

I also do not think they understand our boundaries enough to be on their own. Also, I believe I have to be with them until the adoption is final anyway. They still are learning they can't just take whatever they want whenever they want. We have a refrigerator at church that has little bottles of water in it. My children aren't allowed to drink them. A water fountain is available if they need water. Well, one little girl came out drinking one before church yesterday. She told me where she got it and that she did not ask for it. I took it and gave it to my husband to drink because he is on the praise team and often needs water. The other girl asked her daddy and he told her no they weren't for them. This is just an example of them still learning boundaries and not just making theirselves at home. Of course, some of the adults around when I was scolding her thought that I was going overboard because it was just a bottle of water. In my mind, it is way more that a bottle of water. Why would you have to ask for a drink and home, but not at church our of the refrigerator? I think some of their connections just don't happen.

Other issues are arising that were not mention prior to placement. Hopefully, not major, but our counselor says we are probably reading the signs correctly. As a friend of mine on another blog has said, we have to have different boundaries for our foster/adoptive children. We just can't be to cautious. This morning with Morgan gone, the girls have watched a movie in the den so I can keep a good watch on them. I am not sure when I will totally trust them. When will I be able to leave them with another parent that hasn't dealt with foster children?