Maturity

Okay...the struggle for the weekend is this...

Beth and Ann, in my opinion, aren't as mature and responsible as an average almost nine year old. Morgan is only nine months older than them but is more responsible and trustworthy. Her decisions do not revolve around what everyone else is doing. She knows the difference between right and wrong and usually makes good choices. Yes, she does make poor choices at times. However, she understands consequences for her actions. I am not sure Beth does. Whatever Morgan does they want to do.

Well, they didn't get to spend the night out last night. Morgan did spend the night away. I didn't hesitate one bit allowing her. Morgan wants to go to camp next summer. She probably won't, but we will consider it. I have already told the girls they will not be going. The girls think whatever she does, they automatically get to do. Well, no. Morgan would do great at an overnight camp. There is no way they are going anywhere overnight without my husband or me.

Morgan was allowed to go in the woods with Alex and a friend today. She is able to get up and down the hill by herself. She needs very little assistance in the woods. Beth asked to go. The answer was no again. We tried that one time and it wasn't a good thing. So, she gets mad and gets in the bed and cries. My husband told her she could choose how to spend her day, in the bed or playing, her choice. I am sorry, but everyone doesn't get to do everything around here.

Beth isn't having a good day. She got in trouble for leaving the door open again. Our power bill was over $500 this month. Ugh!! My husband took everyone swimming. The last time they went swimming she left her new competition goggles somewhere where Reesie, our dog, got them and was chewing them up. They each have a swim bag on a hook in the mud room to put their swim items in. I took them from the dog and put them away. Today she wanted them back. I made her explain why she didn't have them. If the dog has them again she will lose them again. She wasn't a happy camper when she left. I am sure she is sick of me correcting her today. She definately does better during the school week with very strict structure.

I have learned that children which are affected like my girls don't mature at the same pace as children with non alcohol affected brains. My girls just don't act almost nine. I am sure being in the foster system doesn't help either. How do I explain this to them? How do I explain I have to totally trust before they spend the night away? Will they ever get the same opportunities as Morgan? I have to accept that they may not. Children with these issues often take longer to mature and some continue to struggle with cause and effect problems. We shall see....

This calling by God is so exhausting...

Update and incident

I received the info I needed from the geneticist to confirm the diagnosis. Praise God!! I received an email today with dialogue between my state worker and the head of the office of adoption regarding our subsidy and the approval. My worker is on special assignment this week so she won't have time to complete our paperwork until next week sometime. I am happy that we are coming to the end of this phase of the journey. Hopefully, next week, we will get some official paperwork to sign to finalize what has been discussed.

Good news. Ann's auditory processing testing came back normal. I am very happy about this. I believe her problems come from her ADD. I don't want to medicate, if possible, because she isn't hyper. She has a hard time focusing. Beth was tested today and I should receive the results next week.

While we were out of town for Beth to be tested today, we went into a restaurant. The place had just opened because it was only about 10:30. The lady behind the counter was loudly "discussing" with the guy behind the window in the kitched that someone is not taking care of their children and the state should take custody and have them adopted. They keep having children and not providing for them. The man in the kitchen said no matter how many children he has, he will provide for them. When we came in, she looked at us, turned her back to us and continued arguing with the guy. Well, I started getting upset because I was worried how this would affect Beth. She heard the main words, DHR, adoption, not taking care of, take them away. Finally someone else came and took our order. I finished paying and asked Beth to go pick a table. We were the only ones in the place so I was comfortable with her doing this. I then proceeded to tell the lady that she needs to be careful what she is saying with customers in the building. My child is currently being adopted from the foster care system and I didn't appreciate her yelling these things in front of her. She should have stopped as soon as we walked in. She started telling me about her "old man" that keeps having children. I told her I didn't want the story, she just needs to be more considerate. She kept trying to justify and I just kept reminding her that she doesn't know who is listening and who she is affecting as she discusses things in the restaurant.

I went to the table to join Beth. She asked me if the lady knew she was adopted. I told her no. I tried to distract her and talk with her so she wouldn't hear the lady. Obviously it didn't work. She said it reminded her of her BM and BD yelling at each other. It has never crossed my mind that she probably did hear her birth parents talk about them losing their girls and DHR coming to their home, ect. It did bother her. For the first time, I believe I was hurt and offended for her. I explained to her that when my babies are hurt, I also hurt. She said, "and I am your baby." She is getting it. I got upset because I was afraid what the lady was saying would upset her. She did hear and it did bother her. Later the manager came to refill our drinks and I tried to talk with him about what happened. He didn't seem bothered by any of it. I told him that I was always taught to be quiet and pay attention to the customer, not continue a conversation with another employee. People just don't understand good customer service any more. He didn't say much.

The girls are all at a birthday party tonight. My husband and I went to dinner for his 42nd birthday. We had a nice time. I will pick the twins up at 9pm and Morgan will spend the night. They were very excited. I preached all the way there. I have to state every rule or who knows what they might do. I will be anxious to hear how things went.

Maybe...

The doctor just called. I explained what the state wants. He said he would send me an addendum stating this is more than likely what we are dealing with and he would send a brief paragraph about their diagnosis.

I hope this will be what I need. I am praying that God will guide him as he types the letter or dictates it and it will be exactly what we need.

Frustration!

I received the long awaited letter with our diagnosis today. It isn't a complete diagnosis, it is a "maybe" or "possibility" diagnosis. The doctor told me they had it and he was going to send a letter stating that. Now I get this! I called his secretary back and explained the situation. She said she would try to get him to call me. I pray he calls and is understanding in our situation.

I feel as if it is going to appear that I have misrepresented our situation to the state. Lord you know the truth...please reveal it where it needs to be!!

Precious moments!

My girls are in their room taking turns reading the Bible. From what I can tell, they are reading in Genesis. We are also studying that in history. What sweet moments!

Cause and Effect

Okay...so we are having a pretty good day yesterday. Everyone was getting school work done and I was praising Beth for such good work and attitude. I have read that sometimes children of abuse and neglect start acting out after praise. I can't remember why. I overheard Beth and Ann in the kitchen. Ann was emptying the dishwasher. I hear Ann tell Beth in a worried voice to stop and put it back now. I step out of the laundry room and ask what is going on. With a smirk on her face Beth tells me she was going to try to twirl the knife on her fingers like Zach and Cody. OH MY GOODNESS!!! By the way, it was one of the largest knives in the drawer. I was not happy to say the least. I believe she thought they really did that on the show. Thank goodness Ann stopped her. Later she was trying to get Ann with the can opener. Maybe I could have brushed that off as a five year old acting thing if the first incident with the knife hadn't happened. The worst part is that when I asked her if she knew why I was concerned about her choices she said that if she got hurt before the adoption was final, they would take them away. I didn't know what to say to this. She had an okay night, but was in trouble with attitude first thing this morning. She had to write Philippians 2:14 in her best handwriting 10 times before lunch. "Do all things without murmurings and disputings." She completed the task and has been okay the rest of the day. We are headed to the soccer field tonight for Alex's tryouts. I have never had to worry about Morgan playing with others. I will have to have a watchful eye with Beth and Ann. What a day!

I spoke to the geneticist this morning. Still no letter with the diagnosis. They say I should have it by Thursday. I will email it to the state that day also. I am ready to get this thing finalized!!

Is there an actual contract you add things into? How does this work?

Weekend

We had a pretty good weekend. I attended the conference Thursday. My husband and the other three children came to my parents Friday morning. We had a large family get together Saturday so everyone could meet the girls and my brother's precious new baby girl. It went pretty well. The girls reverted back a little to their insecure voices but behaved well. Overall, they did very well. They appear to be attaching and becoming a little more secure everyday.

We are ready to start another school week tomorrow. I am excited because we only have one doctor appt this week and one couselor appt. We also extra classes for the boys, dance for the girls, scouts for the boys, and piano for two kids. We haven't even started piano for the twins and swim team for the fall yet.

I am hoping the state will move quickly so we can get this adoption final!! It sounds like it may be soon. I am going to contact the attorney so he can make sure he has the ball rolling on his end. Any suggestions on how to move this along quickly? I am not sure what the process is with the court system.