Today is Monday, which means time to finish up school. We are pretty much finished for the school year. We had standardized testing last week, we have finished all of our textbooks. During the summer all of my kids have to continue to read regularly, the girls will work in their BrainQuest workbooks that review all academic areas and the boys will work on their Boy Scout merit badges. We also will finish our History book. I am letting them play outside this morning and we will continue school after lunch. We will also have "home ec" once a week. We don't have any help with cleaning the house, so I have five great helpers that can help me get the house clean. We try to keep it pretty straight, but the toilets and sinks get pretty gross! We have cleaned the house twice since the girls have been here and it has gone pretty well. We are learning the difference in windows and mirrors, cleaning and straigtening, honesty and lying. Wow, isn't it amazing how the last one creeps into everything!!
Mother's Day went well. The girls seemed to handle the day well. One girl has asked to call the Foster Mom the last few days. We tried twice last night and could not get in touch with her. How long does this continue? How long should I allow this to continue?
Monday, May 10, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mother's Day
I received many cards made with love this morning. Morgan gave me a few sweet cards, as usual. One of the twins gave me six or seven. Hearts, notebook paper, construction paper, puppets and many other precious cards. They all said something about thanks for being my mommy. One said, "I wish I could come out of your tummy." How sweet!! The other daughter had one card with many sweet things. She said she knows I still love her when she fights with Morgan, when she is scared at night and thanks for buying them clothes when they needed it. Wow!! What a sweet morning!!
I am so very blessed!!
I am so very blessed!!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Mother's Day
Tomorrow is suppose to be a happy day. I am blessed to be the mother of five beautiful children. However, for my two new daughter, is it different? One daughter asked to look at her birth family pictures today. My parents were here, so we all were able to browse them together. I am not sure what is going through their little minds. Did they want to look through the pictures because they are missing her as we talk about celebrating Mother's Day? How sad that their birth mom has no idea where her babies are on this special day. I can't imagine not knowing where my children live. How hard is this day for them? This is the first holiday they have had in our house. I hope it is a happy one.
Friday, May 7, 2010
My heart hurts.
My heart is really sad tonight. It is breaking for these girls.
One girl admitted to picking fights with Morgan. She realizes she is doing it. She was very mad and pouting on the couch today. The reason was because she was mad because the other two girls walked away and didn't fight with her. I have told them repeatedly to walk away. They were so proud they did. The sister was not happy with them. SHE DIDN'T GAIN CONTROL OF THEM and so she was MAD!! We had a nice long discussion just as we had friends coming over for dinner with their eight children. I had to let them in and go handle the problem. I am praying for God to reveal the root issue for this action. We told her we want to replace this need she has with something better, spirit filled. So sad.
One girl came to me tonight asking about when we were going to change the sheets on their beds. I told her I didn't know. Honestly, I haven't had time this week and haven't even thought about it. I asked her why and she said no reason. I remembered that she was in different clothes this morning and it all came together for me. I asked her again and she finally told me. She had a dream that she was in the bathroom and wet the bed. I asked why she hadn't told me and she said she was punished in her previous home. MY HEART BROKE!! I asked where the clothes are because I had them bring all of the dirty laundry to me today and I didn't notice any. She went and got them and gave them to me. I have no idea where she had hidden them. I reassured her that it is okay and that it happens to others, not just her. I have probably told her five times that she isn't in trouble, but please tell us next time so we can get the we sheets off the bed. So sad.
My heart is breaking for these girls tonight. As we walk this journey with God, I am learning more and more about me and each of my family members. I am so blessed!!! I am honored to be their mother of five precious children.
One girl admitted to picking fights with Morgan. She realizes she is doing it. She was very mad and pouting on the couch today. The reason was because she was mad because the other two girls walked away and didn't fight with her. I have told them repeatedly to walk away. They were so proud they did. The sister was not happy with them. SHE DIDN'T GAIN CONTROL OF THEM and so she was MAD!! We had a nice long discussion just as we had friends coming over for dinner with their eight children. I had to let them in and go handle the problem. I am praying for God to reveal the root issue for this action. We told her we want to replace this need she has with something better, spirit filled. So sad.
One girl came to me tonight asking about when we were going to change the sheets on their beds. I told her I didn't know. Honestly, I haven't had time this week and haven't even thought about it. I asked her why and she said no reason. I remembered that she was in different clothes this morning and it all came together for me. I asked her again and she finally told me. She had a dream that she was in the bathroom and wet the bed. I asked why she hadn't told me and she said she was punished in her previous home. MY HEART BROKE!! I asked where the clothes are because I had them bring all of the dirty laundry to me today and I didn't notice any. She went and got them and gave them to me. I have no idea where she had hidden them. I reassured her that it is okay and that it happens to others, not just her. I have probably told her five times that she isn't in trouble, but please tell us next time so we can get the we sheets off the bed. So sad.
My heart is breaking for these girls tonight. As we walk this journey with God, I am learning more and more about me and each of my family members. I am so blessed!!! I am honored to be their mother of five precious children.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Good Day
The doctor appointments went well yesterday. We just love our pediatrician. He takes so much time with us. He knows our family well. Alex had a blood disorder as 1 year called ITP. He was very sick and we saw him often. He was chronic and so we saw the Dr two times a week for a long time. Anyway, he was glad to see us. The funniest thing was that he was sitting with his laptop next to us while the nurse was taking labs on the girls. I had introduced him already. I was sitting next to him talking and told him they were adopted through DHR. He kept looking at them and finally asked if they were related. This was really sweet to me. He couldn't believe how much they look like our family. It was neat for the girls to hear this also. They did great at the office. We didn't find anything new. I had some questions about some things. His answer was that we can't change some things we just have to deal with them going forward. He reassured me he would help in anyway. It is so nice to have doctors we can trust so well!! We have a pediatrician and a general practioner in our town that are great men. They truly care for their patients and honor what we are doing with the girls. I believe they will help in anyway needed.
It was a busy day, but we made it. We had SAT10 in the morning, lunch at BK then one child had a 1:30 Science class, two had piano at 1:30 and the girls had doctor appts at 2:00. We made it to everything, thanks to the help of great friends.
I am so blessed to have such great support from my parents, my in-laws, and many friends. Thanks to everyone!!!
It was a busy day, but we made it. We had SAT10 in the morning, lunch at BK then one child had a 1:30 Science class, two had piano at 1:30 and the girls had doctor appts at 2:00. We made it to everything, thanks to the help of great friends.
I am so blessed to have such great support from my parents, my in-laws, and many friends. Thanks to everyone!!!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Quiet?!?
Wow! I am home alone for about 2 hours three mornings this week. All five kids are taking standardized test Tuesday-Thursday. I usually help test, but wasn't sure if I would be testing the girls or not. I can actually pay bills for my husbands office today!!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Are the tears real or manipulation?
This weekend T,A, and M participated in a swim meet. Well, that means we were at the pool all day Saturday. The girls kept asking if we were done and if we could leave. I finally had to tell them this is what our family does together. We would be at the pool until we were all finished and received the awards. They finally realized I meant it and adjusted. One girl napped and the snacked. Survival at its best!!
After such a big weekend, we decided to nap Sunday. The boys and one girl slept and me, of course. MISTAKE!! I will not do that again. The girl that slept couldn't go to sleep that night. We even rode our bikes five miles after naps. She kept getting out of bed, waking up the other girls, not being honest, becoming fearful, among other things. We had a rough night. My wonderful husband had them in bed early tonight since I was at a meeting. It is very quiet in my house. All I hear is the dishwasher and washing machine. Peaceful!!
How do you handle manipulation? I am struggling to tell the difference between tears for manipulation or real tears. When the bad tears come often and appear like the real tears, I struggle with helping her. As the night went on when she kept waking others up I became less and less sensitive. I didn't like the way I was feeling. However, she gave the same tears earlier about not going to BK to eat lunch. She said we had not been since she had been here. I wanted say to her, lets name where we have been. I didn't to that, but I thought it. I feel really bad for thinking that way. I don't want to feel that way. However, I finally got her to admit to me that she was crying because she wanted to go there for lunch and she thought we would change our mind. Well, she is learning quickly that acting that way makes it that much longer before you get to go with us as parents. (We are as stubborn as the come. My husband and I both received a good dose of this in our genetics!!) This is happening more and more. Needless to say, I am staying firm and hopefully it will eventually improve. I think she doesn't realize she is being dishonest and manipulative. Well, maybe she does. Today, when I could tell she was going to say whatever to get her way, I stopped and made her think about it a few minutes and then tell me. Both times after thinking for a few minutes, she chose to tell the truth. I told her she was still in trouble for the action but not for lying. She told the truth!!! I think she is learning the difference. I think she has had to act this way in her past for survival at times. Hopefully as she becomes more and more secure, this will improve.
The girls have check-ups tomorrow. I hope all goes well. I have many questions for our pediatrician. I hope he is ready!! He is wonderful, so I am sure he will be very patient with me.
After such a big weekend, we decided to nap Sunday. The boys and one girl slept and me, of course. MISTAKE!! I will not do that again. The girl that slept couldn't go to sleep that night. We even rode our bikes five miles after naps. She kept getting out of bed, waking up the other girls, not being honest, becoming fearful, among other things. We had a rough night. My wonderful husband had them in bed early tonight since I was at a meeting. It is very quiet in my house. All I hear is the dishwasher and washing machine. Peaceful!!
How do you handle manipulation? I am struggling to tell the difference between tears for manipulation or real tears. When the bad tears come often and appear like the real tears, I struggle with helping her. As the night went on when she kept waking others up I became less and less sensitive. I didn't like the way I was feeling. However, she gave the same tears earlier about not going to BK to eat lunch. She said we had not been since she had been here. I wanted say to her, lets name where we have been. I didn't to that, but I thought it. I feel really bad for thinking that way. I don't want to feel that way. However, I finally got her to admit to me that she was crying because she wanted to go there for lunch and she thought we would change our mind. Well, she is learning quickly that acting that way makes it that much longer before you get to go with us as parents. (We are as stubborn as the come. My husband and I both received a good dose of this in our genetics!!) This is happening more and more. Needless to say, I am staying firm and hopefully it will eventually improve. I think she doesn't realize she is being dishonest and manipulative. Well, maybe she does. Today, when I could tell she was going to say whatever to get her way, I stopped and made her think about it a few minutes and then tell me. Both times after thinking for a few minutes, she chose to tell the truth. I told her she was still in trouble for the action but not for lying. She told the truth!!! I think she is learning the difference. I think she has had to act this way in her past for survival at times. Hopefully as she becomes more and more secure, this will improve.
The girls have check-ups tomorrow. I hope all goes well. I have many questions for our pediatrician. I hope he is ready!! He is wonderful, so I am sure he will be very patient with me.
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