Sorry!

I will get the baptism pictures posted soon. I just haven't had time. Well, I started one time and loaded five pictures and then they disappeared. I haven't started again. I have some precious pictures.

We started school yesterday. T, A, and M did well. Ann and Beth struggled some. Beth is doing great so far today. She has "turned her brain on" today. It sure makes things easier on everyone. Ann is not focused today. We use office chairs in our school room so the height can be adjusted for each child. Well, after too many warnings, she lost hers because of the constant spinning and twisting. She almost ended up in her bed after I took it away because of the pouting and tears. Later, she was lying on the table...ugh! She got it together enough to make it to break. I am about to go teach more so we will see how she is acting. She will not get it back until tomorrow.

Please pray for us, we have some spiritual warfare going on with Beth. The world calls it something major, but we believe she has a music or praise and worship calling on her life and therefore we are having to fight for her. Please intercede for her and me as well as we fight with and for her.

Baptizing tomorrow!

We are baptizing all three girls. It has been totally crazy around here. My parents are here and my husband's parents are here. We are having 22 people for lunch tomorrow. I think I have everything ready. The girls are loving the attention, but behaving well.

We are going to start school Monday, ready or not. I know I can open the math and grammar books and begin. I can also probably begin literature. I believe it will help everyone to be back to more structure.

Ann is being referred for auditory processing testing. I am glad the doctor suggested this. I really didn't know where to begin to get this done. We have wanted this done for a while.

I spoke with my state social worker yesterday. I am given the impression that she believes everything I have told her about my girls. She is going to push them to make some decisions next week regarding our subsidy. Once that gets made, hopefully we can finalize the adoption. I am more than ready!! I am ready for them to be totally mine where I can make decisions and not worry about what the state thinks.

The state has decided they shouldn't have been placed on my private insurance after all. They don't legally have our name. The doctor's office couldn't use two last names so they can't file on two insurances. What a mess!! I am going to call our insurance company Monday and see if we can get them retroactively removed. What a mess!!

Busy Times

This week has been really busy. My sister-in-law and her three boys were here Sunday afternoon until Monday. She was able to finally meet the girls. All 8 eight of the children played well together. We were able to plan our Disney trip. We are going to go in September. We will have about 2 days with them while we are there. It is totally unbelievable the cost to go to Disney. We were able to find a newly renovated hotel for abouyt $78 a night and it includes a full breakfast. Well, the included meal is worth at least $50 more dollars. We found a resort for not much more but it didn't include breakfast. We couldn't pass up the breakfast being included.

Monday night we had a swim team end of the year party. The kids had dinner and cake and awards. They all seemed to enjoy the party.

Tuesday we had counselor appointments. Everything was good until they started talking about insurance. We aren't sure if they are suppose to be on my insurance and Medi*aid or just Medi*aid. They have been added to our private insurance, but should they have been since we aren't their legal parents yet. Their name hasn't changed. One more mess to figure out. I am so ready for this two be final so we can just live our lives!

Today Tucker had his wisdom teeth removed. He did well, but always has blood pressure problem in recovery. It takes him longer to be able to leave. He had done well today. I hope he continues to improve.

The girls are doing okay. They revealed some new things to the counselor yesterday that were surprising to me. I am digesting these things and hoping they aren't really a big deal. The couselor did suggest Auditory Processing Testing for Ann. We weren't surprised about this at all. I am almost glad we now have this referral. Which insurance do we use?

I am hoping to start school again Monday. I am hoping to get prepared over the next few days. Our life has been so busy, I haven't been able to get my act together. We will have school next week and then the next week we have three doctors appointments. Two about three hours away, one on Monday and one on Friday. One on Wednesday about an hour away. Will this ever slow down?

All three girls will be baptized on Sunday. We are very happy and all grandparents will be here for the big day. Beth and Ann are new Christians. Morgan was saved a few years ago but has been afraid of being baptized. Now that she is the big sister, she isn't missing out. How sweet of God to work it out so they will be baptized together. My husband will baptize them with our preacher and elders around him. How awesome!!

Swim Meet

We have had a great, but hot two days at the state swim meet. All of the kids participating did well in their events and made personal best times. My parents came to cheer everyone on. Beth and Ann enjoyed the time with their grandparents. They so desire love and attention. My parents come ready to give because they aren't with them all the time like us. They don't hear the same thing over and over all the time. They have a lot more patience and endurance when we do. This morning they wanted to ride with my parents to the meet. (We had to travel about 1 1/2 hours to the pool.) Beth and Ann rode with them and Tucker, Alex, Morgan rode with my husband and me. It was weird, but a nice break. Well, it was nice after I regained my composure after backing into my parents van. They will now be getting their van repaired and I will be getting a new bumper. This was on the driver's side and the passenger side was already scratched up from a car hitting us in a shopping mall parking lot and not bothering to leave a note with their name. Anyway, I guess now I will get a new bumper. Not a good way to start the day. My father was great about it. He just hugged me as I cried. I was so mad at myself. We usually back into that spot to turn around in the driveway and I forgot his van was there.



At least nobody was in the car and of course there were no injuries.



The twins were great at the meet. They didn't swim, but the made it through the heat without to much complaining. They are slowly adjusting to our ways of doing things, I think.



Ann keeps calling Morgan mom. She always says they are playing when I ask about it. I have told them to not call her mom because I am their mom. Is that bad that I made that request? I want them to rely on me and not her. I guess this could show me how superficial the term mom is to them. What do you think?

Three truths...

One of my cyber friends asked about what truths I claim from scripture when I am struggling with my girls. I prayed about this for a few days before I posted. I really needed to renew my focus on what God told me about this adoption.

1. The scripture I claim the most often is Jeremiah 29:11. It reads, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God is in control of my family. I am trusting you to protect my birth children by guiding me through this process.

2. Before we received the girls, I was praying one morning about adoption. I was reading Psalm 139. I read the following verses:

13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

When I read those verses that morning, I felt God telling me that He knew me in my mother's womb. He knew at that time that I would be called to adoption and obey. I was born very premature and the doctors weren't sure I would even live. If I did, they weren't sure I would walk or talk. I believe one reason He saved me was so that I could help some children heal from abuse and neglect through adoption. I could give them a better home and life. Most importantly, I could share Jesus with them. I could show them Jesus in me. This is my job, though it isn't an easy one at times.

3. God showed me more about these verses as we learned about our girls. We had been waiting and waiting for a placement. We thought we wanted younger children in a sibling group. We knew we wanted younger than Morgan.

I was teaching Morgan math one morning when the phone rang. It was our social worker. She told us they had selected us for a set of twin girls that are eight years old. Talk about overwhelming. I had prayed and prayed, but it really happening was very exciting and scary. Then she told me their names. I was almost speechless. Their names are the names Morgan has called her twin baby dolls. I had chills and told the kids and the social worker what God had done. How could I say no? We talked a little more and I asked if she had a picture. She said she would contact their worker and see if she had one. I called one of my dear friends that has walked this entire journey with us and told her about the call and the names. I told her I would really be amazed if the worker called me and said they are tiny and blonde. Morgan is small and I really was hoping they would be smaller than her. About that time the phone beeps and it is my worker. I switch over to talk with her and she tells me that she is having a picture sent, but to tell me they are tiny and blonde. Wow!! Only God could do this!!! I knew these girls were meant for us. How could anyone not see that!! I received the red flag I always want when we are praying for something so big. God is so faithful!! So, God revealed to me again through the same scripture that he knew these girls in their mother's womb. He knit them together. He knew they would be in our family. He knew they would look like our family. We have taken them even if they weren't tiny and blonde. However, what a cool thing that they look like our family. They all three have the same color hair right now because of the sun and chlorine.


On my harder days, I remind myself of this story. God planned for these girls to be in my home. I have no doubt they are suppose to be my girls. He knew they would have undiagnosed issues. He knew I would advocate and fight for them. I have pleaded their case to the highest person available. They are precious in His sight and in mine.

We will continue this journey with God. We know God has called us and we have followed. There are many joys as well as heartache in this journey. I wouldn't change it for the world. I can't imagine life without my girls anymore. Thank you God for blessing me with my girls!

Tired.

I am tired. I am ill. I am tired of the girls yelling at each other for nothing. I am tired of having to be on my toes all the time. My husband can just choose to ignore. Should I do more of that? I am afraid if I ignore things, they will build to even bigger things. Should I get them in routine counseling? I am afraid another layer is coming off. I can see it in Beth's eyes. She is changing. I can almost see the anger building behind her eyes. Beth and Ann are yelling at each other more and more. Morgan is very emotional today. Beth and Ann are mad because Morgan was invited to go to an alumni dinner for one of our major universities tonight. Morgan is very excited because the mascot will be there. Beth is very jealous, which usually causes problems. It has been Ann as much as Beth today. I have sent the girls to their beds for thirty minutes. We are going to start school in some form or fashion next week. We need some structure around here.

We had a lesson on giving for selfish, manipulative reasons and expecting something in return. I tried to explain that you give from your heart expecting nothing in return. I am so tired. I am struggling today.

Fun Day

We had an enjoyable day today. We spent the afternoon at the pool as a family. We had two extra boys that are always a pleasure. Beth is doing little things to test the waters. She was sneaking up to the girls room to listen to what the other two were saying. My husband caught her. Anyway, she made up a story to him. She went in the room and told the girls he wouldn't let her get ice for her head. She wasn't headed towards the kitchen, she was standing outside their door listening. Anyway, she got in trouble for not telling him the truth or the girls. She didn't get to play with the girls for a while. She had to help get lunch ready, which she enjoyed. I tried to give her not so fun jobs and she obediantly did them. What she does just doesn't make sense sometimes. She is so worried about missing something or that someone is talking about her. I would have been harder on her, but he chose the punishment, not me. It seems like she is getting back into her old ways again. I guess I am going to have to be very strict with again for a few days. Anyway, we had a pretty good day.