Almost blew it...

but didn't.  I was working on math with Haylee and Hannah.  Hannah often gets mad at me when I tell her a problem is not correct.  Today we were working through some problems together.  She put an answer and I told her it wasn't correct.  She started the, "but Momma's" with me.  I knew she was getting mad at me.  I started helping Haylee and ignored her.  Eventually, she changed her answer to the correct one.  I told her it was correct.  I then asked her who she was mad at when I told her it was incorrect.  She said she was mad at me.  I told her that it isn't right for her to be mad at me when she can't figure out an answer.  I kept my big girl panties on and stayed calm.  Neither one of us got upset, we just discussed that it isn't me that doesn't know the answer and is frustrated, it is her. 

It is definitely a happier place since I stayed calm and didn't get negative.  We discussed it and moved on.

God is so good!!

Today

Well, I did better today.  It wasn't perfect, but everything I said, I evaluated.  I am not sure if today was good enough to call Day 1 or not.  That is okay because I just want to keep improving.

We had doctor appointments out of town today.  All five kids went with me.  We went in to the large pet store.  The girls wanted to look at the hamsters and birds.  The place was empty because it was 10:30am on a school day.  I left them looking as the boys and I went to get dog food.  We were only gone a few minutes and when we returned, Hannah was trying to open the door to get inside the booth behind the glass where the animals are kept.  I couldn't believe it.  When asked why,of course she said she wanted to go in there.  (Duh, Mom, what a stupid question.)  Well, I can say,I didn't lecture or lose my temper.  I said that is not a good decision for a ten year old.  You will hold my hand and stay next to me the rest of the day.  I have heard other blog friends do this, but I have never actually made any of them hold my hand for a long period of time. 

Well, she thought it was okay at first.  However, we went into a large shoe store next.  She discovered it was no fun to be stuck to Mom like glue when the other girls are looking around.  (They were within my sight also.)  I wasn't negative or ugly.  I just made her hold my hand.  We left the store and went to eat lunch.  I made her get out of the car and hold my hand.  She had to sit by me and not choose her seat.  This is a big deal for her because she always wants to pick where she sits.  It is a control thing with her.  During the meal, I had to go to the restroom, so she had to go with me.  We survived and did okay.  I think it made an impression on her. 

I was excited because I contained my emotions even though I couldn't believe what she was trying to do at the pet store.  I may be using this form of discipline more with her because it worked well for both of us. 

I guess I have finished with Day 1.  It may not have been perfect, but I prayed a lot for guidance and understanding towards my girls.  I think I did much better than the day before.  It is like I tell my children, I tried hard and improved.  Tomorrow is a new day.

How is everyone else doing?

However, homeschooling makes this a very interesting challenge.  We were out of town most of the day today.  I am anxious to see what tomorrow hold for all of us.

The Challenge

Angela, at Pearls of Price, mentioned a challenge she is taking.  You can read about it here.  It is fourteen days long.  You only speak positive or neutral things to others.  I didn't realize how difficult this was going to be.  I have really been struggling with my thoughts and actions.  I didn't realize how negative we had gotten around here.  I didn't realize how much correction goes on by all seven of us toward each other.  It isn't  very pleasant when you step back and look at it.  It robs the Joy of the Lord that we want in our house.  I know I can only accomplish this with God.  I have been wrestling in my heart today, while at church and afterwards regarding my words, as well as my thoughts.  I have bit my tongue many times.  I have tried to change my responses at the last minute.  I often have the facial expression, but no words come out of my mouth.  I have used this challenge as a time of self evaluation and reflection. We need to love as Jesus loves us. Our tone of voice and our words are not always in a loving manner as Jesus would speak to us.


I am praying that God can help me with this challenge.  I know that I will not accomplish this goal on my own.  I will definitely have to press in more with God to accomplish this goal. 

My girls have not had the best start in life, but that isn't their fault.  They don't know the things my birth children do because they haven't been taught.  Once again, this isn't their fault.  They are precious girls and have learned so much.  I get very frustrated sometimes, but love them dearly.  Already today, I have caught myself getting frustrated over really trivial things.  They are kids and they are still learning.  I should not be frustrated.  This challenge has made me stop mid step and change my responses.  As Angela said in her post, these poor kids get blamed for so many things.  They get corrected so often, by so many people.  I am proud of how they have endured so much criticism.  It really needs to stop.  They have been in our family for a year and a half.  This Friday the adoption will have been final for one year.  (Wow, how time goes by quickly.)

God is really doing a work in me through this challenge.

Quite a few of my blog friends of abused and neglected children are also taking the challenge.  I hope by having other friends working towards the same goal will help me to not give up.  We can be accountable to one another.  This can be such a positive thing for my family as well as many others.

Thanks Angela for the challenge!!

Old Habits Surface Again

Alex has a friend over tonight that lives out of town.  They have been friends since they were babies.  He came down to spend the night tonight.  Well, the kids were playing outside.  I walk out and Haylee has reverted to baby talk and Hannah is flirting telling the friend that she can't believe he is only 12 because he looks much older.  Ugh...

Needless to say, they are watching a movie now and the girls are on one side of the couch and the boys are on the other.  Morgan is the barrier between the twins and the other boys. 

I guess when they try to impress the new person they get uncomfortable and revert back to their old ways.

Well Angela, I blew it already!!!

Happy Birthday!!

Haylee and Hannah are ten years old today.  They have been a part of our family for 1 year and 6 months.  We are so blessed that they are a part of our family!  They have grown so much in so many ways since they have been home. 

We love you, Haylee and Hannah and are very proud to call you our daughters!!

Sick

Hannah hasn't been sick very much since coming to our home about 19 months ago.  She had a ruptured ear drum one time.  She didn't complain until right before it ruptured.  Well, Friday she started saying her throat hurt a little.  She had fever all day Saturday and Sunday.  It got up to about 102.5.  She rarely complained and said her throat was getting better.  I told her if she needed me during the night, she could come get me.  She was really confused.  She kept asking questions.  I told her if she was hurting or feeling really bad, she could come get me.  I told her she could have more medicine about 2:30am. She asked if she should come get me at 2:30.  Bless her heart.  I don't think she has had anyone to care for her during the night.  I wonder if she cried out when she was little and was ignored or got in trouble.  It breaks my heart. 

I took her to the doctor today and she has strep throat and a bad ear infection.  The doctor was concerned because she said her ear doesn't hurt.  He said I need to watch her in the future because of her high tolerance for pain.  If Tucker, Alex or Morgan had a high fever, they would be on the couch wrapped up in a blanket.  She did school today.  She hasn't acted sick.  I gave her some more medicine for her fever this afternoon and she really didn't want to take it.  She acted afraid to take it.  I reminded her that if she needs medicine and takes it as prescribed, it is okay. 

I hope she gets better soon.  I also hope no one else gets sick.

10th Birthday

We celebrated the girls birthday last Friday.  They had about 10 friend join them at Chuck*E*Cheese.   The seemed to have a really good time.  He danced with them and gave each of them a birthday medal.  They are turning ten, which would normally be too old for this party, but they loved it.  I am sure they have not had something like this in the past.  Unlike last year, they invited people that they are friends with. 

Morgan's best friend went with us for the day.  She goes to church with us, so the twins wanted to invite her.  She and Morgan always have a fun time together.

 My husband and I with the birthday girls.

 After the pizza party, the party moved to the skating rink to celebrate the birthday of a girl at our birthday party.  Everyone continued to have a great time skating and just being together. 

Tucker was a good big brother and pushed all of the younger kids around on these little rolling carts.  A fun time was had by all.

The girls actually turn ten Wednesday.  We have something planned for that day, but Alex will enjoy it the most and his birthday is October 18th.  It happened to be the day it was available. 

They are doing pretty well dealing with their birthday.  A few old habits have slipped back in and a little testing is going on, but overall I can't complain.

I am very proud to call them my daughters.  I am so thankful God has blessed us with them!!