Growth

Hannah is still growing. Her growth has been a little slower the last sixth months. She is at the minimum acceptable level. We hope that she is about to have a growth spurt. They did an xray to determine their bone age. Hannah was 1 year delayed the first time she saw the doctor. If she is adjusted for bone age, she still isn't on the growth chart. Hannah is at 1% for weight now. If Haylee is delayed a year, she will be on the very bottom of the growth chart. We will see the doctor again in October.

We will keep feeding them well, making sure they have plenty of exercise and sleep. They also drink a Kid Ess*ential daily.

Lock-in

We allowed the girls to attend the lock-in. I was not comfortable with them going without me, so I was locked-in with them. It ended up being only nine kids, which was good for the girls. They knew everybody, so they weren't uneasy.

Haylee did fine, except for the overload of baby talk. So, maybe she wasn't as comfortable as I thought. I corrected her nicely many times because we talked about it in the car on the way there.

I don't believe Hannah would have made it all night without me. She still gets up at night sometimes afraid. We usually have to walk her back two times before she stays. We pray with her and have her pray as well. She gets insecure very easily. With her history, this in not surprising. It will probably take years to overcome.

We had a fun time. We ate way too much junk and stayed up way too late! We came home early and slept for a few hours. It made it easier for everyone to adjust to daylight savings time.

This was the first time they have ever spent the night away with friends. This was a big treat. I am glad I was able to stay with them, so they could participate.

Love

Kelly posted on her blog about the love you have for adopted children. I love my girls with all of my heart. I would do anything for them. However, it is different. I analyze things they do more than my birth children. I wonder if their actions are due to adoption or a normal kid thing. I wish I didn't have this battle in my mind. I want them to feel like they are a part of our family and "belong" as Kelly said.

A struggle I have dealt with and have tried to accept is that it is okay for the older three kids to do things they aren't allowed to do. Sometimes I am tempted to not let Morgan do something because they can't. I let Morgan and just deal with the consequences. Some items are because of trust issues and maturity and some are just the way things work out. Today Morgan is going with my Dad to see a movie while I take Haylee and Hannah to the doctor. Boy, we had some pouting going on around here last night about the movie.

The girls are nine, however in so many ways they aren't. This is one reason they aren't allowed to do the same things as the older kids. One example, everyday when I drop the kids off at the pool I say, "Get out on the curb side, not in the street." Well, one day this week, I didn't say this and Hannah jumped out on the street side right in front of a truck. Haylee was headed out right behind her when I yelled at them to stop. Ugh. I have only said this one hundred times!! When I told my husband about the incident, he reminded me to not expect them to remember tomorrow. Unfortunately, he is correct.

We leave in a few minutes to see the doctor about growth. I hope we have grown enough to not have to do growth hormones.

Focus

During praise and worship at church yesterday, God showed me what my problem was last week. I was trying to handle everything on my own. Well, duh...of course I can't survive this way. Last week was a really bad week. I had so many things to accomplish last week that I lost total focus. I was totally striving on my own. Everything is so much better when I rely on Him and not my own strength. I repented and got my heart right yesterday in church. No person around here is my enemy, eventhough I believed those lies last week. We are a family and we are in this together.

We began the process of adoption in response to the call of God. God has blessed us so much!!! He deserves the glory for everything in my life!! He is a great and wonderful God!! He is the healer, the comforter, the restorer, my everything!!

Thank goodness for the forgiveness and mercy of our heavenly father!

I hope everyone is blessed today!!

Catch up...

My parents did very well with the girls last weekend. They had them three nights. The first night was at my house then they went to their house. Overall, they did pretty well. My mother loves to "give in" to the kids. However, they know that we can't allow the boundaries to be very relaxed for the girls right now. She let them have loose boundaries and the testing started. My dad didn't let the big things slip. Nothing major happened, but the stories from my parents were pretty funny. The girls were trying to see if the rules apply with them as they do with us. My dad was quick to tell them the same rules applied.

I thought it had been long enough to leave the girls with my parents for three nights. I will never forget the look on Hannah's face when we arrived at my parents house to pick them up. I can't even describe the look to you. It wasn't a happy look. What the look meant, I believe, is that she isn't as attached as I thought. She didn't really care that we were back, it appeared. We definitely took some steps backwards after the separation. The first few days of the week were difficult, but we both survived. I think she it getting back to her normal now. I wonder if that will ever change? Haylee was glad to see us.

It has been a difficult week. We had a lot going on and I am staying so exhausted. Morgan is having stomach troubles again. This is very troubling to me.

The t*wins have an appt next week with the endocrinologist and Morgan has an appt with the pediatric gastro doctor. It will be another busy week.

Happy Birthday Tucker!!

My first born is 14 years old today!! I can't believe I have a child that old!! I am so proud of him! He is turning into a fine young man.

Hard time...

I am sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have been struggling lately. I have not blogged about it because I hate to be a whiner. I am just having a hard time getting everything done I need to get done. I only have five kids. So many people have so many more. I feel like I can't do anything well because I am just trying to survive. I am trying to find my "happy heart," but I am struggling. I am trying not to lose it with anyone around here because this is my problem. I keep telling myself to get it together. God has blessed me with SOOO much. Why am I struggling so? With school, doctor appointments, dance, swim team, coop classes, boy scouts, etc it is just nuts around here. I have been trying to get our taxes done and I finally have them ready to mail tomorrow. Good news!! Yeah!! Since we have to paper file because of the adoption, who knows how long it will take to get our refund. It is going in the mail tomorrow, so I can check that off my list.

Anyway, I am headed to bed...