We had a fun weekend at the lake this weekend. The girls had a great time. They had never been on a boat, swam in the lake, ridden an inner tube or been spoiled by Granny until this weekend. They behaved well and can't wait to go back.
We are beginning some testing Friday for the girls. I am trying not to get anxious, but I am. I know I can't change the past for these girls, but I am struggling with the unknown in the future. The lying and manipulation "appears" to be improving. However, it seems like we start to improve and go backwards again. I am trying not to get down about everything. God is bigger than any diagnosis. I have to keep telling myself this over and over again.
The girls spoke with the foster mom yesterday and her daughter. They talked about her all last night and today. They have gone from drawing pictures with our family to drawing pictures with the two of them and the foster mom and daughter. Why does this bother me so much? Maybe they aren't as attached as I thought. After they spoke with her yesterday, they kept saying how much they miss her. I told them I was sorry.
I can easily see how people can fall into post adoption depression. Today is not a good day for me.
I completely understand where you are coming from. I have felt the same way so many times. I feel so silly and childish for letting things they say bother me. I think it is natural and common though. Hang in there and remember tomorrow is another day. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. The ties will be strengthened thread by thread, strand by strand, day by day... it will take time. They are exploring their feelings about their own confusion. There will be days they don't know who they are and if they want to be with you... just like there are days when I am not really sure I'm excited about being the twin's parent. It's rough on both sides and then it's great on both sides. So hang in there. Stronger bonds are coming.
ReplyDeleteIt can be so hard, one of the best things that you can do for yourself is acknowledge how it makes you feel and then let it go. They are trying to figure this out too and it is not an easy process for them either.
ReplyDeleteFudge still really misses his foster mom, he loved her a lot. Sometimes it makes me jealous but I try really hard not to let it bug me beacause it makes me so happy that he hold that relationship as dear and special to him.
I can definitely understand why that would bother you! I will probably have the same exact feelings. I think it is a good thing that they can bond with so many people. I always hear of foster children who never seem to bond at all and those adoptions always seem so hard. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job with them and and they are just becoming part of the family. Always praying for you guys!
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