What a day!! Can it get any worse!! Today has been a very difficult day at our house!! Rules being broken...everywhere...by everyone!!!! How much more can I take!! I know God has called me to this, but what is going on!!! Boundaries!!! I am pretty sure we have them in this house, not to be broken, but to keep people safe and out of trouble. NOT TODAY!! Both girls have broken rules today. The difference is one is very remorseful and true tears were shown. The other was very hard. How can two girls come from the same Mom and be so different? How can one be so different than the other?
The worst part about the problem this afternoon is that she broke somthing of Morgan's and she isn't here. It was very special to her. There is going to be drama at my house tonight!!
This is definately the hardest, most trying thing my husband and I have ever been through. Praise the Lord we are in total agreement on everything. He came home at lunch and finished dealing with the morning issue with me. I guess we will deal with the afternoon issue tonight when he gets home. We are both struggling with mixed emotions for these girls. Such fun. God give me the strength I need and words of wisdom.
T,A,M are at the pool. The girls wanted to watch a show I have never heard of. I told them I get to choose what they are watching. They are watching Arthur. They get to watch was if most fitting for them at the moment. Arthur sometimes has some good lessons.
We are in this for the long haul. The girls are ours forever and ever. We are always telling them nothing will change that.
hang in there.
ReplyDeleteOh Jenny. I know it is so hard and discouraging sometimes. Just hang in there and remember tomorrow is another day. The honeymoon is over and they are just testing. Always be consistent. It will help them gain trust in your relationship and help them feel safe in your care. It is a looooooooong process. There will be good days and not so good days for a loooooooooong time.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I am having to do right now is pretend Beth is three years old. Any time I talk to her and have expectations of her I am trying to remind myself "she is three". Mentally and socially these children are typically younger than their years. It is hard to do this but it is helping me and might help you if this applies to your girls. (Just a suggestion)
I feel like you and I are in the same boat... different twins :-) It is the hardest, most trying thing we've ever done, too. God WILL see you through. Someday it will get better but it's going to take a long time for the children to learn to trust and not be afraid since nothing before us was trustworthy and secure. I'm doing more holding and loving...it's not my nature to be lovy dovy and all huggy, but it's what is needed right now. I, too have to view the twins at their developmental age - 3 and 4 - not 6.
ReplyDeleteI promise it does get better. The all out screaming and tantrums and beating on the walls has come down to a more manageable level and I'm learning to handle it better.
I hope today is one of the calm days for you to get your wind back.
Angela
Thanks ladies for your comments. I spoke with our APAC counselor late yesterday. She reminded me they are probably about age 3 in their processing and trust. They will test like three year olds and make decisions as a three year old. Over time, they will get older. It may take a long time as Kelly said. However, we can't discipline like we did our birth children when they were three.
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