I am so thankful that God gives us a new day everyday!! I failed miserably yesterday at being a mother. The girls are testing the waters right now. I think it must be because their birthday is coming.
They have been saying they want to go to Chuc*kee Chee*se. It is an hour away, but we said they could each take a friend and we would go. All of a sudden, they think they can just decide they want a spend the night party and have one. They are NOT ready for a spend the night party. I asked what they wanted to do at their party. Haylee said they just want to play babies. I reminded them they don't do as well with "free play" for long periods of time. My husband and I agree they aren't having a spend the night party. Also, when they first started talking about what they wanted to do for their birthday, I told them not to mention the party to any of their friends because we hadn't made plans for anything. Well, what does Hannah do the next day? Tell one of her friends that we are going to the place for their birthday. Guess what? Now her one friend is going to be the friend she invites because she already invited that person and we aren't going to hurt feelings. She probably would have invited her anyway, but we are trying to make a point.
Anyway, I really blew it yesterday. Hannah has this way of deciding when she is done with school. At that point, she doesn't complete anything well. She has to redo and redo. I have talked and talked with her about this. I have sent her to jump on the trampoline, ride her bike, run around outside for awhile, or whatever I can think of to let her brain rest. Well, all we accomplish is she gets really angry at me. Yesterday, she didn't go outside, she just got angry at me. She got mad because she couldn't take the computer to the soccer field to finish her paper. (It is a desktop, by the way.) She was livid at ME. Well, I had had enough. I really lost my temper and spoke truth to her!! I guess the truth hurts sometimes.
I don't like it when I lose my temper with her because I truly believe her goal in life right now is to please me so I won't send her back. I would never send her back. I reminded after the "event" was over that I love her bunches. I told her that nothing would ever change that. I told her that I don't like her choices, but I love her. We talk about choices quite often around here. When they talk about their birth parents, we talk about the bad choices they made.
I got upset with Haylee later over a stupid thing, her socks. Now why did I pick that battle? Stupid, huh? Well, she had on two pair of socks. She told me she didn't realize she had on two. What??? I told her to take one pair off, she was changing at swim team, because she was having to work really hard to get her shoes on with two pair. On the way to the soccer field, she said something about having on two pair of socks. Ugh!! Did she just choose to disobey? I was so frustrated.
I must have forgotten yesterday that I am the adult, not a ten year old. I need to act better than they do to set an example.
Thanks goodness for a new day!! I am trying to stay calm and peaceful this morning. However, it is always difficult when one little girls brings me a school book and tells me it is wrong or it can't be done. Ugh!!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Baby Adoption
No, we aren't adopting again. For their birthday, Haylee and Hannah wanted to adopt Le*e Midd*leton nursery babies. Morgan adopted one when she was 6 and still loves to play with her. So, we went Friday and they adopted their babies. The lady at the store talked with them about how to take care of their babies. It was a very sweet time for the girls. Haylee listened to the heart beat of her baby. 
Hannah checked her baby's diaper and practiced buttoning her clothes.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Wild Week
It was a wild week around her last week. We had soccer games, dance, ortho appointments, locally and one hour away, piano and swim team. I was trying to get well from a cold that has gone through our family. A good friend of mine needed a ride to the ER Wednesday night because her husband was away on business. She was one sick girl, but she is recovering well after a three night hospital stay.
I also had my first experience with foster care. I thought we were going to have a little girl this past week, even though they never licensed us for foster care. It ended up that she went to a foster home. Let me just say God put me in this little girls life for a reason. I don't know that I will ever see her again, but I pray for her protection often. I feel like the system has let her down. She was released to her mom after four nights in care. I makes me even more thankful that my girls are doing so well as a product of the foster system.
Everyone is doing pretty well around here. I am trying to extend more grace to Haylee and Hannah. I am trying to filter everything through the glass of "How would I treat Morgan?" They have come so far in 17 months.
I also had my first experience with foster care. I thought we were going to have a little girl this past week, even though they never licensed us for foster care. It ended up that she went to a foster home. Let me just say God put me in this little girls life for a reason. I don't know that I will ever see her again, but I pray for her protection often. I feel like the system has let her down. She was released to her mom after four nights in care. I makes me even more thankful that my girls are doing so well as a product of the foster system.
Everyone is doing pretty well around here. I am trying to extend more grace to Haylee and Hannah. I am trying to filter everything through the glass of "How would I treat Morgan?" They have come so far in 17 months.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Success...for one
Morgan's best friend turned eleven last week. She had a spend the night party. She also had a spend the night party last year. Both years she has invited all three girls. Last year, we didn't let the twi*ns spend the night. We didn't feel like they were ready. This year I talked to the mother a long time about what to watch for and to expect. We decided to let them try to spend the night.
They all three stayed all night. Morgan came home happy with them and not complaining which means they did okay. I have seen some pictures from the party and they all looked happy. Hannah ran out to me the next morning very proud. She said, " I did it and didn't have any bad dreams!" She was very excited and proud. She should be! I am very happy for her this is a big step. I was really only worried about her. She had a great day yesterday after the party. She is doing very well right now.
However, Haylee didn't do so well yesterday. She had a great time at the party. I knew she would. One of her good friends also spent the night, so I knew she would be fine. Yesterday was not a good day for her. She disobeyed on a very simple thing. I told her not to do something and the next thing I know, she is doing it. She said she wanted to do it and so she did. Ugh!! Then she was writing scripture as part of the punishment for disobedience. I specifically told her she wasn't to play or watch TV until she was finished. I find her in the hallway watching the movie Hannah and Morgan are watching. Ugh...again. She finished her scripture and played for the afternoon. We all watched a movie last night and she had to go to bed early and not participate in the popcorn and movie. I am so sad about this. I guess she is comfortable enough in our home now that she is starting to test. I wonder if her testing yesterday was because the boundaries at the party weren't as strict. She wanted to know if she could do the same at home.
Lately, most of her problems have revolved around food. I have been praying for God to show me what is going on. I talked to her about the fact that she always has plenty of food here and she knows she will be provided the next meal as well. She agreed with me. I am praying God will give me wisdom regarding this issue.
They all three stayed all night. Morgan came home happy with them and not complaining which means they did okay. I have seen some pictures from the party and they all looked happy. Hannah ran out to me the next morning very proud. She said, " I did it and didn't have any bad dreams!" She was very excited and proud. She should be! I am very happy for her this is a big step. I was really only worried about her. She had a great day yesterday after the party. She is doing very well right now.
However, Haylee didn't do so well yesterday. She had a great time at the party. I knew she would. One of her good friends also spent the night, so I knew she would be fine. Yesterday was not a good day for her. She disobeyed on a very simple thing. I told her not to do something and the next thing I know, she is doing it. She said she wanted to do it and so she did. Ugh!! Then she was writing scripture as part of the punishment for disobedience. I specifically told her she wasn't to play or watch TV until she was finished. I find her in the hallway watching the movie Hannah and Morgan are watching. Ugh...again. She finished her scripture and played for the afternoon. We all watched a movie last night and she had to go to bed early and not participate in the popcorn and movie. I am so sad about this. I guess she is comfortable enough in our home now that she is starting to test. I wonder if her testing yesterday was because the boundaries at the party weren't as strict. She wanted to know if she could do the same at home.
Lately, most of her problems have revolved around food. I have been praying for God to show me what is going on. I talked to her about the fact that she always has plenty of food here and she knows she will be provided the next meal as well. She agreed with me. I am praying God will give me wisdom regarding this issue.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
24/7/365
As Phyllis posted in response to my post on "control", "When isolated, it seems like we as mothers are being so petty. But when you are dealing with it 24/7/365 it is overwhelming."
Phyllis, I couldn't agree more. People sometimes look at me like I am nuts and very controlling when I tell them things to look for when they are with my children.
Oh well, I am living this life, not them. We are following God, and that it what we are called to do.
Phyllis, I couldn't agree more. People sometimes look at me like I am nuts and very controlling when I tell them things to look for when they are with my children.
Oh well, I am living this life, not them. We are following God, and that it what we are called to do.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Olympic Swim Clinic
The three older kids attended a swim clinic this past Sunday led by two Olympic swimmers. Mark Gangloff and Kim Vanderburg led the clinic. The kids loved it!! They raced each of them, with a huge head start of course. They spoke about nutrition and a life as a swimmer. It was fun for them and gave them a new excitement for a different level of swimming.
Alex and the swimmers.
Morgan and the swimmers.
Tucker and the swimmers.
All five kids with the swimmers.
While the older kids participated in the clinic, we took the twins shopping for some fall clothes. It was a nice day for the four of us to spend together.
Control
I believe we are reaching a new phase in the adoption cycle. It has been here a while, but it is becoming more and more apparent. My husband and I talked about it today and agree that we are having control issues with the girls. They are both trying to control us, me mostly, in different ways.
We had a horrible start to the day today. I won't go into details, but we have a rule in our family that no matter what time you get up, you must be finished at the breakfast table by 7:45 so you will be ready for school by 8:00. If you get up late, you have less time for breakfast. They are suppose to get up at 7 am. This system has worked pretty well this year with most of the kids.
Haylee is usually a problem. This morning was horrible. She sat and was basically was silently refusing to eat. She knows that she must eat because once she takes her medicine she really will not feel like eating. She sat and wasn't eating. I kept asking her why. Anyway, I won't go into the details. She was mad about what she was eating and the amount. Instead of eating what she wanted of her cereal, she sat and pouted. I was in and out of the kitchen. Finally, my husband told her he was tired of this and she better be done before he leaves in 5 minutes. AMAZING, she ate most of her cereal and drank her glass of milk. I was not happy. She ate everything in less than five minutes after sitting there pouting for 30 minutes. Needless to say, I was not a happy Momma this morning.
Later in the morning, Hannah was trying to telling me that I was adding some of the mental math problems wrong. She kept saying the wrong answer and I quietly told her it wasn't correct. Haylee was still trying to calculate the answer. She got mad and basically told me I was wrong. Well, once again, she won because I wasn't to happy about her telling me I was wrong about the answer.
I think these are both ways of them controlling or feeling as they are in control. What do you think? Other things are happening, these are just two examples from today. We are going to be on the lookout for other instances in the next few days.
We are going to my parents lake house this weekend. I am a little uneasy that we are going with these issues going on. My parents are very supportive and us and the girls. I think things will be okay.
We had a horrible start to the day today. I won't go into details, but we have a rule in our family that no matter what time you get up, you must be finished at the breakfast table by 7:45 so you will be ready for school by 8:00. If you get up late, you have less time for breakfast. They are suppose to get up at 7 am. This system has worked pretty well this year with most of the kids.
Haylee is usually a problem. This morning was horrible. She sat and was basically was silently refusing to eat. She knows that she must eat because once she takes her medicine she really will not feel like eating. She sat and wasn't eating. I kept asking her why. Anyway, I won't go into the details. She was mad about what she was eating and the amount. Instead of eating what she wanted of her cereal, she sat and pouted. I was in and out of the kitchen. Finally, my husband told her he was tired of this and she better be done before he leaves in 5 minutes. AMAZING, she ate most of her cereal and drank her glass of milk. I was not happy. She ate everything in less than five minutes after sitting there pouting for 30 minutes. Needless to say, I was not a happy Momma this morning.
Later in the morning, Hannah was trying to telling me that I was adding some of the mental math problems wrong. She kept saying the wrong answer and I quietly told her it wasn't correct. Haylee was still trying to calculate the answer. She got mad and basically told me I was wrong. Well, once again, she won because I wasn't to happy about her telling me I was wrong about the answer.
I think these are both ways of them controlling or feeling as they are in control. What do you think? Other things are happening, these are just two examples from today. We are going to be on the lookout for other instances in the next few days.
We are going to my parents lake house this weekend. I am a little uneasy that we are going with these issues going on. My parents are very supportive and us and the girls. I think things will be okay.
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